Old April 3, 2010, 11:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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[Seventh Draft] Dreamwalking - Gift of Kaimelea

Note to the PublisherAll centred text aside from the title and tagline represent seperate pages and it would be preferable if they were separated accordingly

[Discussion] Dream Walking
[Rough Draft] Dreamweaving
Dreamwalking [First Draft]
[Second Draft] Dreamwalking
notquiteFinal Draft] Dreamwalking
[Fourth Draft] Dreamwalking [Trades]
[Fifth Draft] Dreamwalking [Trades]
[Sixth Draft] Dreamwalking [Trades]



Dreamwalking

The Art of Dream Manipulation



Introduction:

The subtle art of dream manipulation is a largely unknown and underestimated ability. A gift bestowed by Kaimelea upon her followers, Dreamwalking grants the user the ability to visit the dreams of mortals, manipulating Dreamer's experiences while they sleep. At its most basic level, the Dreamwalker is capable of 'walking' into the minds of those around them, usually for the purposes of espionage, mental therapy, and long-distance communication. At higher levels, the user begins to learn how to shape and change the dreams of their hosts, limited almost solely by their imagination. Other skills are rumoured to exist at higher levels, such as visiting the mystical Planes of Dreams and Nightmares; the homes of the Planetars themselves, as well as tricking the host's sleeping minds into doing anything from sleepwalking to stopping their heart from beating.

As sinister as the idea of manipulating the minds of others seems, Dreamwalking - along with the similar arcanic skill of Mysticism - is often misunderstood and is, in fact, largely used for positive purposes. Such purposes include post-traumatic mental therapy, memory repression and retrieval, self-learning and communication across the continent and beyond.

Regardless of the purpose to which Dreamwalking is applied, there can be little question among the elucidated that the skill can be incredibly potent in the right hands.

The Dreamscape and the Plane of Dreams

The Dreamscape:
Contrary to popular belief, people who dream do not visit the Plane of Dreams - with the same being true for bad dreams and the Plane of Nightmares. The vast majority of dreams and nightmares experienced by mortals take place in a no-mans land called the Dreamscape, with neither Kaimelea nor Risthal having total control over it.

The Dreamscape is comprised solely of matter called Dream Essence, which resonates sympathetically with the thoughts of nearby living creatures and people, moulding itself into the shapes and senses desired. A Dreamwalker's ability to Dreamweave stems solely from extensive experience with manipulating Dream Essence into whatever they can imagine. When inert, Dream Essence is invisible, allowing a Dreamwalker to seemingly create things out of thin air. Therefore, to an outside observer, the Dreamscape would appear to be an infinitely large universe of black nothingness, with the occasional galaxy of activity centred around a living mind.

As a side note, Vis and Ara do not exist, as there is nothing truly 'real'. This means that magic as most people understand it cannot function. Instead, a mage can 'imagine' creating a fireball, causing the surrounding Dream Essence to morph into one, ready for use. Unfortunately, skills that do not produce many physical effects such as those used in Bardism, Ikonomancy and the majority of Mysticism are unable to be replicated.

A Dreamwalker's ability to jump from dream to dream stems from their ability to block their minds from the effects of Dream Essence. Once freed from their dream, they are able to move through the nothingness to the adjoining dreams of those around them and inhabit the dream or nightmare of the soul within. See the section on Dream Threads for further details.

Those without the ability to Dreamwalk still visit the Dreamscape whenever they fall asleep, as Dream Essence mimics the Dreamer's subconscious, often recreating memories of the Brightening's events, summoning the very definition of peace or happiness as a dream or generating nightmares from the depths of their worst fears.

The Plane of Dreams:



The Plane of Dreams is a world of light, colour and life. For some, it is an infinite forest, others see it as an island floating amongst the clouds, whereas more again perceive a horizon-less grassland or a bustling city. How the Plane of Dreams appears is perceived differently by every one of its Denizens, yet there is one structure that is common to all of the Planes representations: nestled within its heart is Kaimelea’s fabled city of Reverie. The city itself moulds and shifts constantly with the whims of its inhabitants, but certain landmarks stand resolute against the mesmerizing flux of colours and shapes.
  • The Dormus River:
    A glittering, crystal clear river, the Dormus curves around the walls of Reverie like a lover, caressing the Pearlvein Wall with its sparkling waters. The light reflected from the surface of the river glitters with every colour of the rainbow. Shortly after it passes through the city, the Dormus river reaches a cliff of infinite length and depth, stretching down into black, starry abyss below. This, combined with the dazzling array of colours seen in the water, lends to the belief that the water of the Dormus River is liquefied Dream Essence, used to create all the creatures, objects and people present in the Dreamscape. Newcomers to Reverie are warned not to stare into the Dormus for too long, as many have looked into the sparkling waters and allowed its fast-flowing current to sweep their mind away.
  • The Pearlvein Wall:
    Encircling the city is a small, waist-high wall. Crafted when the city was first made, the Pearlvein Wall is made from stones taken from the Dormus River, held in place with a mortar made from a shimmering almost-pink metal called Pearlvein. The Pearlvein itself runs in veins through the riverbed rocks, and is mined for its incredible strength and durability when forged. The Wall is blessed by the Planetar within the city to disallow anyone not of her following from entering the city. For the last few hundred eras, the city of Reverie has been held by Kaimelea, She Who Opens the Eye. By some flaw in the Wall’s makeup, it will never bar a fellow Planetar or Deity from entering the city, which allows Risthal to meddle with the Loom of Afterthought held within.
  • The Palace:
    A marble tower stands in the centre of Reverie, its tip lost within the clouds. The ‘palace’ is barren, a vast hollow tower without floors, a marble staircase winding up the interior towards the single room at the top. In the centre of the tower, atop a marble pillar many hundreds of feet tall, stands the Loom of Afterthought. Created when the First Dream was dreamt, the Loom is rumoured to create the dreams and nightmares for the gods themselves and whoever controls the Loom can create and shape dreams and nightmares in the mind of people, creatures and any other living being in Telath, Aetheria and Aeternia.
    If one follows the marble staircase upwards as it encircles the Loom’s pillar, they will eventually reach the Throne Room. Here resides the Planetar of the city of Reverie, who at the present moment is Kaimelea, She Who Opens the Eye. On each side of her are Skavias the Mother Dragonfly and Rhyax, Weaver of Dreams. Lavat the Iridescent Serpent coils around her neck as Muse floats like a fog around her feet. Surrounded by her minions, Kaimelea governs the darkening-to-darkening operations of the Plane of Dreams.
The Identities and Names




Dream Guises:
To become a novice Dreamwalker, one must learn about Dream Essence, gain lucidity within a dream, and gain the ability to move about the Dreamscape. To mark the beginning of their journey into Dreamwalking, the novice's subconscious cloaks them in a Dream Guise, so as to provide anonymity and a degree of protection from the hypnotic charms and paralyzing fears of the Dreamscape.

The exact appearance of the Dreamwalkers Guise is dependent upon their subconscious, which is dominant in a world shaped by your thoughts and desires. Depending upon the role the Dreamwalker wishes to play within the Dreamscape, their Guise can be anything from wish-fulfillment, personification of a particular personal trait or a projection of their personal beliefs, desires or objects of love. As the majority of Kaimelea’s tasks are benevolent, forms that encourage feelings of safety, peace or happiness in those around them are common. It is worth noting that unless the Dreamwalker undergoes a drastic change of personality, the Dream Guise they discover at novice level will stay more or less the same for the rest of their lives.

For this reason, the Dream Guise will not change a great deal once it manifests; however, once the Dreamwalker is used to it and feels comfortable with a new body, attitude and even personality, they can begin to make small changes. These may include hair color, clothing, and skin tone. However, there will always be some resemblance to their original Guise.

Dream Name:
Like the Dream Guise, the Dream Name comes from the Dreamwalker's subconscious. When they first try to decide upon a name, one will spring to the surface of their mind and escape their lips almost unbidden. This is what they will be known as within the Dreamscape.

The Dream Name has a potency of its own, as it can be used to summon or be summoned by a Dreamer, regardless of whether they are able to Dreamwalk - See Soul Searching for details. When combined with the journeyman skill Walker Ward, the Dreamwalker may be forcibly kept at bay from a particular dream.

However, the true potency of names is derived from a Dreamwalker's True Name, the one they were born with and use whilst awake. Using a True Name, the target may be rendered powerless by an opponent, forcibly ejected from sleep and summoned against their will at the whims of their tormentor. For this reason, Dreamwalkers try to keep their True Name hidden whenever possible, and divulging it to an ally is a potent act of trust.

The Five Houses of Dreamwalking

Introduction
While the ability to Dreamweave objects out of Dream Essence and Dreamwalk through the minds of others are skills shared by all Dreamwalkers, there are certain abilities unique to members of the five classes, or roles within a Reverie. Once a Dreamwalker has proven themselves as a devoted follower of Kaimelea, she bestows upon their form a symbol that declares them a member of one of the five Houses of Dreamwalking. Such followers are known as the Enlightened, and gain new abilities unique to their respective House. In an optimal Reverie, there will be a member from every House that work together to strengthen their abilities and help them combat the insidious powers of Risthal and her Twisted.

Cendren: House of the Seer
The Cendrens have their powers firmly rooted in vison, knowledge and understanding. They can see through the illusions of the Dreamscape and identify Dreamers, Dreamwalkers, Twisted and Azaru from the many lifeforms that inhabit the Dreamscape. They can sense if a fellow Dreamwalker or Twisted is nearby, both within the Dreamscape and when awake, and can even see a ghostly outline of their Dream Form on the Material Plane, surrounding them like an aura. They have a limited ability to read the subconscious thoughts of mortals, which they use to interpret a person’s dreams and use this information to enlighten the individuals.

Devoted Cendrens are further blessed by Kaimelea and become the Cendrenas, lords and ladies of the House. Cendrenas are rumoured to be able to use the collective memory of Aelyria to not only learn what happened across the continent that previous brightening, but even cast their minds back many hundreds of eras into the past. It is even said that there exists a Cendrenas ceremony that allows them to see back to the dawn of time itself.

Beriadren: House of the Protector
The Beriadrens are a proud House of stoic protectors, charged with defending Dreamwalkers and Dreamers alike from Twisted influence. Highly resistant to the powers of Consumation that Twisted use to create the Azaru, Beriadrens also exude an aura that dampens the Twisted’s ability to Dreamweave effectively. The Dream Form of a Beriadren is often extremely resilient to physical damage, and they employ superhuman strength to defend their charges within the Dreamscape.

Once a Beriadren has proven themselves to Kaimelea, she raises them to the ranks of the Beriadrenas, lords and ladies of the House. The Beriadrenas have lost all ability to Dreamweave, but their aura completely nullifies the powers of the Twisted. The mere presence of a member of the Beriadrenas within a dream is often enough to force a Twisted out of sleep completely.

Echadren: House of the Weaver
Masters of the art of Dreamweaving, the Echadren’s limitless imagination craft elaborate dreams and beings wherever they walk. They remain the only House known to create sentient life within a dream, with their brothers and sisters limited to the minds of animals at best. If a Twisted and a Dreamwalker are both attempting to Dreamweave a single object, an Echadren will be able to break the usual deadlock in their favour. Echadren are capable of summoning and controlling a vast array of people, animals and scenery at once.

The Echadrenas, masters of the House, have been charged by Kaimelea to be in charge of Dreamweaving her own Plane of Dreams, and it is they alone who are responsible for its mesmerising fluctuations of colour and life. The Echadrenas are often invited to live within the city of Reverie, their Material bodies granted the power to leave the Material Plane and reside permanently in the Plane of Dreams through a ceremony whose secrets are jealously guarded by the Echadrenas themselves.

Nestadren: House of the Healer
The comforting words and soothing hands of House Nestadren are pillars that support the stability and peace of the Dreamscape. While most Dreamwalkers learn basic healing as part of their Dreamweaving ability, the effects are usually temporary and leave the Dreamwalker with crippling, invisible injuries when they awaken. It is the ministrations of the Nestadren that sooth these pains, and without them the Dreamscape would become a much more dangerous place for Kaimelean followers. Saying this, the Nestadren would be insulted if one assumed that physical healing was all they were capable of. In a world governed by the thoughts and dreams of others, the Nestadren pride themselves on their ability to heal and sooth the mind. Many who come seeking Kaimelea’s aid across Aelyria are sent to the Nestadren, whose ability to comfort, sooth and heal the mind are unparalleled by any other House. Some practitioners surpass even mystics in their restorative abilities.

The lords and ladies of the Nestadrenas are so proficient at this art that they are rumoured to be able to restore the sanity of those who have gone insane or are suffering from great mental anguish or turmoil, as well as being the only mortals known to be able to take the two halves of an Azaru and reverse the process of Consummation.

Manadhren: House of the Zealot
If Kaimelea is the Dreamwalker’s god, the Manadhren are her silent assassins, warriors of unwavering loyalty who walk the boundary between light and darkness every darkening to safeguard those whom they serve. All Manadhren are unparalleled fighters, due to their enhanced reflexes, stamina and strength that rivals their brothers and sisters from Beriadren. The Menadhren are also the only Dreamwalkers with the capacity to inflict physical damage upon their targets, forcing the Twisted to feel any injuries sustained in their sleep as though they were real. These abilities make them formidable opponents to any Twisted they come across.

The powers of the Menadhrenas are rarely employed, as Kaimelea hardly ever requires the visitation of death upon her targets. The lords and ladies of the Menadhrenas hold the power to stop an opponent’s heart from beating, should they manage to kill them within a dream. Truly Angels of Death, if you are killed in a dream by a member of the Menadhrenas, you will not awaken.

The Tools and Symbols

The Dreamcatcher - Appearance:
Often dismissed by the uninitiated, the dreamcatcher is the utility knife of Dreamwalking. Many Dreamwalkers tattoo a dreamcatcher upon their skin to provide permanent access to its power, while others prefer the more conventional hanging design. These are essentially the two different ways one can create a dreamcatcher: a stand-alone object and a design drawn onto a surface. Both are equally potent, with personal preference and convenience being the only separation between the two.




Regarding design, dreamcatchers can have varying patterns and weaves in their main 'body', but they will all share similar fundamental traits:
  • Circular boundary
    All dreamcatchers consist of a circular perimeter, within which lies the main design. This represents the cycle of Brightening and Darkening, and the infinite nature of the conflict between dreams and nightmares.
  • Two-dimensional
    A non-issue with the drawn design style, hanging dreamcatchers consist of a two-dimensional design woven within a flat, circular frame. This represents the intangible, non-Material nature of the Dreamscape as well as emphasizing the close proximity between the Dreaming and Material Planes.
  • Symmetry
    A dreamcatcher must have at least one line of symmetry bisecting it. This ensures order in the dreamcatcher's power, otherwise its effects will become chaotic and unpredictable.
  • The 'Eye'
    More metaphorical than literal, this merely refers to the centre of the design. This is the nexus where the power of the Dreamcatcher is channeled. dreamcatchers with an 'open' or unadorned centre are used by the Dreamwalkers, whereas those with 'pierced' or impeded centres are used by the Twisted.

The Dreamcatcher - Uses:
  • On its own, a dreamcatcher is used to ease the owner's passage from wakefulness to sleep. Conversely, the owner finds waking up much easier.
  • When blessed by a follower of Kaimelea, the dreamcatcher will protect the owner from nightmares, acting as a Walker Ward against Risthal and her Twisted.
  • The dreamcatcher is used as the portal through which Dream Denizens enter a dream whenever the Dreamwalker employs the advanced ability to summon Dream Denizens.
  • When used with a Dreamwalker's True Name, that Dreamwalker can be Soul Summoned and trapped within the dreamcatcher, provided both parties are asleep and dreaming at the time.
The Eye of Cendren:
An ancient and mystic symbol originating in Trelorian Reveries, the Dream Eye was drawn in place around the eyes of the Seers of Cendren in kohl, charcoal, paint or various other form of body-art medium. In recent eras, makeup is a useful alternative to the more traditional mediums.

Essentially, the Eye – an elaborately drawn eye of Kaimelea - will act as a form of revealing device, allowing the Cendren to see a ghostly image of a Dreamwalker's Dream Guise even when on the Material Plane. Useful for detecting fellow tradesmen, as well as allowing them to detect their opposite numbers on the rare occasion the two of them come into contact in the Material Plane.

The benefits of such a device is a double-edged sword; as fellow Dreamwalkers are revealed to the user, they potentially reveal themselves to the Twisted. And in a society where anonymity is a Dreamwalker's greatest defence, this can be a potentially dangerous tool to the wielder.

The Shield of Beriadren
A rune that resembles a shield with the eye of Kaimelea in the centre. When drawn onto an object or person in a dream, it becomes impervious to Dreamweaving so long as its creator maintains physical contact with the rune. Only able to be used by the Beriadren.

The Sword of Manadhren
A rune that resembles a sword with the Kaimelean eye for a hilt. This rune empowers a weapon with the ability to induce phantom pains where the weapon strikes upon the target's awakening. For example, if such a weapon stabbed someone through the heart, they would awaken the next morning with uncomfortable chest pains. The weapon will only work for those of the Manadhren.

The Staff of Nestadren
A rune that resembles the Kaimelean Eye adorning the head of a staff. Drawn onto an injured party, usually with some sort of liquid or makeup, the rune accelerates the Nestadren’s own healing abilities.

The Amulet of Echadren
A rune that resembles the Kaimelean eye within a pentagram. This rune is usually carved onto some sort of charm or talisman worn by the Echadren, and clarifies the mind, allowing them to visualize their goals more effectively and is what empowers them to harness their full potential.

The Dream Threads

Overview:
An anchor between the mind and body, a portal used by others to draw you together, a vulnerability that can be exploited by others; these are all accurate descriptions of the phenomenon known as Dream Threads. Through meditation, a Dreamwalker can transcend their focus of concentration from the specific dream they currently inhabit to view the entirety of the Dreamscape from an outside perspective. From there, the Dreamwalker perceives the universe as a cluster of threads, each denoting a sleeping being. The thread belonging to the Dreamwalker appears attached to them in some way, usually tied around a finger. When a Dreamwalker moves into another dream, that person’s Dream Thread also attaches to the Dreamwalker. It is through the manipulation of Dream Threads that a large majority of the Dreamwalker’s interpersonal skills are worked.

Appearance:
The shades of Dream Threads indicate the subconscious response a Dreamer has to their dream. Essentially, the threads that lead to nightmares are black or dark grey, and light grey or white threads are pleasant dreams.

The thickness of the Thread denotes the strength of the connection between the bearer’s mind and body. The telella - initiates of Dreamwalking yet to be accepted into a House - as well as those untrained in Dreamwalking have a fragile thread, with its thickness increasing to that of a rope or cable with each level of proficiency gained in Dreamwalking. Mystics and those skilled in meditation have Dream Threads marginally thicker than the layman, indicating their affinity with the mind.

When not meditating, a Dreamwalker cannot sense the multitudes of Dream Threads that float in the Dreamscape, but with concentration, they can sense their own thread, as well as that of the Dreamer they are currently sharing a dream with.

Soul Summoning:
Whilst dreaming, a Dreamwalker is able to mentally scan the Dreamscape through meditation, sensing the billions of Dream Threads that connect dreaming souls to their bodies in the Material Plane. Once a thread has been chosen by the Dreamwalker, they mentally 'tug' on it and are pulled into the dream they were sensing. This process of meditation, searching and entering dreams is what takes up a large proportion of the darkening for Dreamwalkers, and is how they find the nightmares to ‘save’ their inhabitants from.

If a precise search of the Dreamscape is required, the Dreamwalker attempts a Soul Summoning. Speaking the name of the Dreamer will cause their subconscious to react, making their Dream Thread glow and shine in the eyes of the Dreamwalker. Due to the sheer volume of Dream Threads present in the Dreamscape at any one time, it may take a novice Telella upwards of half a candlemark to locate the glowing Dream Thread, whereas the Ontaro – lords and ladies of the five Houses – usually only require a handful of minutes. Once the thread is discovered, the same mental 'tug' is all that is required for a Dreamwalker to 'pull' themselves into the dream. If, within a dream, a Dreamwalker is summoned in such a way, they will see their own thread glowing and shining. Through force of will, the Dreamwalker can suppress the glow, preventing others from locating them.

Skill Tree

There are three ‘ranks’ of ability amongst Dreamwalkers. Listed here are the Trelorean names for them, as Dreamwalking is only new to Aelyria in the last dozen eras, whereas Kaimelea has been worshipped amongst the elves for many thousands of patterns.
Those in the transitory stage where they have not yet been welcomed into a House are known as the telella, or ‘children’. Once the telella have passed a rite of initiation, they are then welcomed into one of the five Houses and are known as the Veronda, or ‘faithful’. Finally, the Ontaro, literally ‘parents’, rule over each of their respective Houses and answer directly to Kaimelea herself.
As an aside, Dreamwalkers in Trelore are known as the Kaimelaras, after their Queen.




The Telella:
  • Dreamwalk
    The Dreamwalker is now able to move away from their personal dream and explore the Dreamscape. They will not have access to the dreams of the more powerful races of Telath, such as Lamia, Dragons and Ancient Aelyrians, but the vast majority of the Dreamscape is theirs for the exploring. The mental discipline of Mystics also makes their dreams highly difficult for telella to invade.
  • Dreamweave
    The Dreamwalker's understanding of Dream Essence grows over time to become sufficiently advanced for them to begin shaping the dreams and nightmares of others. Objects formed out of Dream essence look, feel, taste, smell and sound exactly as the Dreamwalker imagines them to - with practice – although aside from the Echadren, most Dreamwalkers struggle to animate anything more advanced than wild animals. Anything created from Dream Essence will be 'locked' into the form the Dreamwalker desires, unless it is forced into a new form or if the Dreamwalker that shaped the essence leaves the dream. In that instance, the Dream Essence will revert to its inert, invisible state.
  • Dream Guise
    The subconscious wishes and desires can manifest within the Dreamscape, imprinting themselves upon the Dreamer. It is usually the positive aspects of their subconscious that manifest, however it is not unheard of that a Dream Form hints at darker sides to the bearer’s past. This manifestation changes the Dreamwalker's appearance, voice and even personality, turning them into the one thing their subconscious desires them to be.
  • Homing Instinct
    A Dreamwalker must be in their own personal dream to leave the Dreamscape and awaken. For Dreamwalkers, this would be a problem if not for the fact that they are constantly aware of their dream's presence while Dreamwalking and instinctively know where to find it within the infinite space of the Dreamscape. This is because their Dream Thread constantly exerts a gentle, passive pulling upon their minds that draws them back to their personal dream whenever they try to leave it. If there is a large distance between the Dreamwalker's body and that of their target, this passive tug becomes considerably weaker. So attempting to communicate with someone on the other side of Telath is a feat only attempted by the Ontaro, for fear of losing your way back home and becoming susceptible to Consummation.
The Veronda:
  • Warp Time
    The Dreamwalker can speed up or slow down time within a dream in comparison to reality, making a minute within the Material Plane stretch out into eras or compress down to the blink of an eye.
  • Walker Ward
    The Dreamcatcher can now be made to repel Twisted, an individual that the drawer knows the name of, or even Dreamwalkers in general besides the caster. Those individuals that try to enter a dream or nightmare that is 'protected' in this way will feel nausea and headaches that will become progressively worse the longer they trespass.
  • Summon Dream Denizen
    Often there comes a time where a Dreamwalker requires sentient life besides themselves within a dream, but does not have access to the powers of the Echadren. For most cases such as this, the Dreamwalker creates a portal using a Dreamcatcher between the dream and Kaimelea’s realm, through which the denizens of her realm may enter. The advantage of this, aside from not requiring an Echadren, is that an unlimited amount of denizens may enter the dream, many more than the stamina of most Echadren can handle. The disadvantage is that unlike sentience created by an Echadren, Denizens are not compelled to follow the Dreamwalker’s orders and must be convinced to do as bidding. This, coupled with the shapeshifting abilities of Dream Denizens, can prove to be quite a headache for Dreamwalkers if the Denizens prove uncooperative.
  • Dream Sense
    Once ascended, the veronda are able to sense Dreamwalkers and Twisted, distinguishing them from the 'unenlightened' Dreamers and non-entities around them within a Dream. Usually just a feeling, Ontaro are able to identify such entities upon visual contact.

  • Greater Dreamwalking
    The verondan's increased proficiency with locating and entering the dreams of others allows them the expertise to invade the dreams of more disciplined dreamers, such as Mystics and those with a high level of mental willpower.

The Ontaro:
  • Dreamwalk Mastery
    The Dreamwalker now has completely unrestricted access to the Dreamscape. They can visit the dreams of Lamia, Dragons, Ancient Aelyrians and other powerful races. Most Ontaro are also granted access to Kaimelea’s realm if they ask for it, such is her faith in their loyalty.
  • Sleepwalk
    The Ontaro are able to transcend their powers into reality, making the target’s body susceptible to harm. They do this by strengthening the link between the target's body and mind to the point where the sleeping body will mimic movements made by their dream self. Injury and strenuous activity may awaken the target.
__________________
The weary feel my blessing and the Dark shall fear my might
For in a world of shadows,
I am theChild of Light.

"...You Rank, Gray-Skinned Codpiece! You sniveling, tear-streaked, coattail-grasping, orc-face!
You lumpish, cabbit-brained, daydream bully! You straw-limbed, gutless, sparkle-finger-wavin' Straylor!
” -igrainne
(Silly girl, she's just jealous that he's getting more action than her)

Last edited by Quilantes Zil'aven; April 11, 2010 at 03:29 AM. Reason: Updated to include Tiarella's edits
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Old April 3, 2010, 11:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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OK, so basically there was an agreement that this article is no longer a Trades article and has therefore been reassigned as a Religion article. Onto my seventh draft now, and coming up to the nine month mark now, so it'd be awesome if we got this finished XD
TBH, this edit was a bit of a rush job due to a mixture of eagerness and a desire to see it finished, so if you see any spelling or grammatical errors, let me know.
Primarily I'm after opinions on the concepts, as they take the longest to modify. So please read and let me know!

Quill
__________________
The weary feel my blessing and the Dark shall fear my might
For in a world of shadows,
I am theChild of Light.

"...You Rank, Gray-Skinned Codpiece! You sniveling, tear-streaked, coattail-grasping, orc-face!
You lumpish, cabbit-brained, daydream bully! You straw-limbed, gutless, sparkle-finger-wavin' Straylor!
” -igrainne
(Silly girl, she's just jealous that he's getting more action than her)

Last edited by Quilantes Zil'aven; April 3, 2010 at 11:57 AM.
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Old April 4, 2010, 01:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Wow, it looks awesome man I've been watching this grow from the beginning, and HUGE props for seeing this through, Quill. *high five* I'm not an expert on religion or this dream planatar, but everything seriously looks awesome. I wouldn't mind making an alt just to pursue this!
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Old April 4, 2010, 10:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Cheers Crim ^_^

Finished some basic editing, deleted/rewrote a few sentences that referred to deleted concepts and skills, reformatting and so forth. Comments are still welcome!
__________________
The weary feel my blessing and the Dark shall fear my might
For in a world of shadows,
I am theChild of Light.

"...You Rank, Gray-Skinned Codpiece! You sniveling, tear-streaked, coattail-grasping, orc-face!
You lumpish, cabbit-brained, daydream bully! You straw-limbed, gutless, sparkle-finger-wavin' Straylor!
” -igrainne
(Silly girl, she's just jealous that he's getting more action than her)
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Old April 7, 2010, 06:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Really picky editing stuff first!

Quote:
As sinister as the idea of manipulating the minds of others seems, Dreamwalking - along with the similar arcanic skill of Mysticism - is largely misunderstood and is largely used for positive purposes.
There's two largelys in that sentence. I'd go with 'is often misunderstood and is, in fact, largely used for positive purposes'

Quote:
This means that magic as most people understand it cannot function. Instead, a mage can 'imagine' creating a fireball, causing the surrounding Dream Essence to morph into, ready for use.
Should be something like.... A mage can 'imagine' creating a fireball, causing the surrounding Dream Essence to morph into one, ready for use


The Plane of Dreams - when starting to read that, I was wondering how I got there? Maybe a little bit of explanation there?

Quote:
However, the true potency of names is derived from a Dreamwalker's True Name, the one they were born with and use whilst awake. Using a True Name, the target may be rendered powerless by an opponent, forcibly ejected from sleep and summoned against their will at the whims of their tormentor. For this reason, Dreamwalkers try to keep their True Name hidden whenever possible, and divulging it
to an ally is a potent act of trust.
Needs formatting... line breaks!

Quote:
Devoted Cendrens are further blessed by Kaimelea and become the Cendrenas, lords and ladies of the House. Cendrenas are rumoured to be able to use the collective memory of Aelyria to see not only learn what happened across the continent that previous brightening, but even cast their minds back eras into the past, as well as bestowing premonitive dreams into the minds of others and themselves.
I think you want either see or learn there?

Quote:
Nestadren: House of the Healer
The comforting words and soothing hands of House Nestadren are pillars that support the stability and peace of the Dreamscape. While most Dreamwalkers learn basic healing as part of their Dreamweaving ability, the effects are usually temporary and leave the Dreamwalker with crippling, invisible injuries when they awaken. It is the ministrations of the Nestadren that sooth these pains, and without them the Dreamscape would become a much more dangerous place for Kaimelean followers. Saying this, the Nestadren would be insulted if one assumed that physical healing was all they were capable of. In a world governed by the thoughts and dreams of others, the Nestadren pride themselves on their ability to heal and sooth the mind. Many who come seeking Kaimelea’s aid across Aelyria are sent to the Nestadren, who’s ability to comfort, sooth and heal the mind are unparalleled by any other House, some practitioners surpassing even mystics in their restorative abilities.
Should be whose

Love it love it love it!

Will do the rest of it later! Neeeeed bed! LOVE IT!
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Old April 10, 2010, 10:35 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Updated to include Ms Benedict's edits
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For in a world of shadows,
I am theChild of Light.

"...You Rank, Gray-Skinned Codpiece! You sniveling, tear-streaked, coattail-grasping, orc-face!
You lumpish, cabbit-brained, daydream bully! You straw-limbed, gutless, sparkle-finger-wavin' Straylor!
” -igrainne
(Silly girl, she's just jealous that he's getting more action than her)
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Old April 10, 2010, 03:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Under dreamcatcher

Quote:
Symmetry
A Dreamcatcher must have at least one line of symmetry bisecting it. This ensures order in the Dreamcatcher's power, otherwise its effects will become chaotic and unpredictable
I think it should be it's effects - as the effects belong to it.. I think. But I'm not 100% sure

Quote:
Overview:
An anchor between the mind and body; A portal used by others to draw you together; A vulnerability that can be used to another’s advantage; these are all accurate descriptions of the phenomenon known as Dream Threads. Through meditation, a Dreamwalker can unfocus their concentration from the specific dream they currently inhabit to view the entirety of the Dreamscape from an outside perspective. From there, the Dreamwalker percieves the universe as a cluster of threads, each denoting a sleeping being. The Thread belonging to the Dreamwalker appears attached to them in some way, usually tied around a finger. When a Dreamwalker moves into another dream, that person’s Dream Thread also attaches to the Dreamwalker. It is through the manipulation of Dream Threads that a large majority of the Dreamwalker’s interpersonal skills are worked.
Don't think the bolded letters are supposed to be caps....

Quote:
Soul Summoning:
Whilst dreaming, a Dreamwalker is able to mentally scan the Dreamscape through meditation, sensing the billions of Dream Threads that connect dreaming souls to their bodies in the Material Plane. By uttering the name of a Dreamer, A Dreamwalker will see the corresponding thread of said Dreamer light up, glowing substantially brighter than its surrounding threads. By mentally 'tugging' on a Dream Thread, the Dreamwalker will be similarly 'tugged' to the targets side. This process of meditation, searching and finding particular dreams is what takes up a large proportion of the darkening for Dreamwalkers, and is how they find the nightmares to ‘save’ their inhabitants from.
Same with capital letters - but I think it's target's side.


OKie - so the only question I have is about the skill tree - are we ignoring the 5 levels for this and going with the three ranks? Or should there be skill tree AND ranks?

Have I just tapped in to an old argument that has already been decided?

Cheers - fantastic!!

~Hay'aan
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Old April 10, 2010, 05:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It was essentially decided that as it was a talent bestowed by Kaimelea, the concept of five ranks isn't necessarily applicable. I chose three, as it's easier to organise
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For in a world of shadows,
I am theChild of Light.

"...You Rank, Gray-Skinned Codpiece! You sniveling, tear-streaked, coattail-grasping, orc-face!
You lumpish, cabbit-brained, daydream bully! You straw-limbed, gutless, sparkle-finger-wavin' Straylor!
” -igrainne
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Old April 10, 2010, 11:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:

Introduction:

The subtle art of dream manipulation is a largely unknown and underestimated ability. A gift bestowed by Kaimelea upon her followers, Dreamwalking grants the user the ability to visit the dreams of mortals, manipulating Dreamers experiences while they sleep.
"Dreamer's". Apostrophe!

Quote:

The Dreamscape and the Plane of Dreams

The Dreamscape:
Contrary to popular belief, people who dream do not visit the Plane of Dreams - with the same being true for bad dreams and the Plane of Nightmares. The vast majority of dreams and nightmares experienced by mortals take place in a no-mans land called the Dreamscape, with neither Kaimelea nor Risthal having total control over it.

The Dreamscape is comprised solely of matter called Dream Essence, which resonates sympathetically with the thoughts of nearby living creatures and people, moulding itself into the shapes and senses desired. A Dreamwalker's ability to Dreamweave stems solely from extensive experience with manipulating Dream Essence into whatever they can imagine. When inert, Dream Essence is invisible, allowing a Dreamwalker to seemingly create things out of thin air. Therefore, to an outside observer, the Dreamscape would appear to be an infinitely large universe of black nothingness, with the occasional galaxy of activity centred around a living mind.

As a side note, Vis and Ara do not exist, as there is nothing truly 'real'. This means that magic as most people understand it cannot function. Instead, a mage can 'imagine' creating a fireball, causing the surrounding Dream Essence to morph into one, ready for use. Unfortunately, skills that do not produce physical effects such as those used in Bardism, Ikonomancy and Mysticism are unable to be replicated.
Wellllll Mysticism is kinda arguable there because some of it is a little "real" or perceivable with the naked eye. Things like Animation and Psionic Blast for example. I agree manipulating the mind is out, but mystics are also more in tune with the mind... maybe a better way to word that last sentence is "Unfortunately, skills that do not produce many physical effects such as Bardism, Ikonomancy and the majority of Mysticism are unable to be replicated." ? I dunno.

Quote:
A Dreamwalker's ability to jump from dream to dream stems from their ability to block their minds from the effects of Dream Essence and move through the nothingness to adjoining 'galaxies', invading the dream or nightmare of the soul within. See the section on Dream Threads for further details.
Long sentence is long, maybe break it up? I dunno just felt run-on ish to me.

Quote:
Those without the ability to Dreamwalk still visit the Dreamscape whenever they fall asleep, as Dream Essence echoes in the Dreamer's subconscious, often recreating memories of the Brightening's events, summoning the very definition of peace or happiness as a dream or generating nightmares from the depths of their worst fears.
I think you should add this "in" I added in bold.

Quote:
The Plane of Dreams:

The Plane of Dreams is a world of light, colour and life. For some, it is an infinite forest; others see it as an island floating amongst the clouds; more again perceive a horizon-less grassland or a bustling city. How the Plane of Dreams appears is perceived differently by every one of its Denizens, yet there is one structure that is common to all of the Planes representations: nestled within its heart is Kaimelea’s fabled city of Reverie. The city itself moulds and shifts constantly with the whims of its inhabitants, but certain landmarks stand resolute against the mesmerizing flux of colours and shapes.
Okay, semicolon 101: things on both sides of the semi colon must be a complete stand alone sentence. E.g. "He did not understand it; she could not read it." I feel your semicolons in the second sentence do not read properly.

Quote:
  • The Dormus River:
    A glittering, crystal clear river, the Dormus curves around the walls of Reverie like a lover, caressing the Pearlvein Wall with its sparkling waters. The light reflected from the surface of the river glitters with every colour of the rainbow. Shortly after it passes through the city, the Dormus river reaches a cliff of infinite length and depth, stretching down into black, starry infinity below.
  • The last sentence uses infinity/infinite twice and that made it hard for me to read. I know what you mean by it but is there any other way to say it?

    Quote:
    This, combined with the dazzling array of colours seen in the water, lends to the belief that the water of the Dormus River is liquified Dream Essence, used to create all the creatures, objects and people present in the Dreamscape.
    Liquefied is the correct spelling of this word.

    Quote:
    Newcomers to Reverie are warned not to stare into the Dormus for too long, as many have looked into the sparkling waters and allowed its fast-flowing current to sweep their mind away.
  • The Pearlvein Wall:
    Encircling the city is a small, waist-high wall. Crafted when the city was first made, the Pearlvein Wall is made from stones taken from the Dormus River, held in place with a mortar made from a shimmering almost-pink metal called Pearlvein. The Pearlvein itself marbles the riverbed rocks, and is mined for its incredible strength and durability when forged.
  • I dont understand what you mean by the pearlvein "marbles the riverbed rocks". To marble is to create swishy lines on things isnt it? Okay thats a horrible way to say it but to marble is to make the color swaths we associated with "marbled countertops" and "marbled tiles". Are you saying it gives it swaths of color?

Quote:
The Identities and Names


Dream Guises:
To become a novice Dreamwalker, one must learn about Dream Essence, gain lucidity within a dream, and gain the ability to move about the Dreamscape. To mark the beginning of their journey into Dreamwalking, the novice's subconscious cloaks them in a Dream Guise, so as to provide anonymity and a degree of protection from the hypnotic charms and paralyzing fears of the Dreamscape.

The exact appearance of the Dreamwalkers Guise is dependent upon their subconscious, which is dominant in a world shaped by your thoughts and desires. Depending upon the role the Dreamwalker wishes to play within the Dreamscape, their Guise can be anything from wish-fulfilment
wish-fulfillment is the correct spelling here.

Quote:
, personification of a particular personal trait or a projection of their personal beliefs, desires or objects of love. As the majority of Kaimelea’s tasks are benevolent, forms that encourage feelings of safety, peace or happiness in those around them are common. It is worth noting that unless the Dreamwalker undergoes a drastic change of personality, the Dream Guise they discover at novice level will stay more or less the same for the rest of their lives.

For this reason, the Dream Guise will not change a great deal once it manifests; however, once the Dreamwalker is used to it and feels comfortable with a new body, attitude and even personality, they can begin to make small changes. These may include hair color, clothing, and skin tone. However, there will always be some resemblance to their original Guise.
I feel like you are repeating what you just said earlier?

Quote:
Regarding abilities, the Dreamwalker is still limited to what they know and what they can create using their imagination. They cannot 'imagine' themselves to be better at swordfighting, or 'imagine' a beautiful piece of art, as those skills come from the mind, which is immutable.
This seems out of place, what does it have to do with dream guises?

Quote:
Dream Name:
Like the Dream Guise, the Dream Name comes from the Dreamwalkers subconscious.
dreamwalker's is possessive of subconscious.

Quote:


Cendren: House of the Seer
The Cendrens have their powers firmly rooted in vison, knowledge and understanding. They can see through the illusions of the Dreamscape and identify Dreamers, Dreamwalkers, Twisted and Azaru from the many lifeforms that inhabit the Dreamscape. They can sense if a fellow Dreamwalker or Twisted is nearby, both within the Dreamscape and when awake, and can even see a ghostly outline of their Dream Form on the Material Plane, surrounding them like an aura. They have a limited mind-reading ability that they use to interpret a person’s dreams and use this information to enlighten the individuals.
Vision is misspelled. Also, on the mind-reading, are we talking subconscious mind-reading? I mean... Seer reads person's subconscious? Cause reading conscious is like, Mysticism, you know >_>

Quote:
Devoted Cendrens are further blessed by Kaimelea and become the Cendrenas, lords and ladies of the House. Cendrenas are rumoured to be able to use the collective memory of Aelyria to not only learn what happened across the continent that previous brightening, but even cast their minds back eras into the past, as well as bestowing premonitive dreams into the minds of others and themselves.
I don't think premonitive is a word. Also, premonition means that you are seeing something before it happens, not that you are looking into the past. What exactly do you mean here?

Quote:
Beriadren: House of the Protector
The Beriadrens are a proud House of stoic protectors, charged with defending Dreamwalkers and Dreamers alike from Twisted influence. Highly resistant to the powers of Consumation that Twisted use to create the Azaru, Beriadrens also exude an aura that dampens the Twisted’s ability to Dreamweave effectively. The Dream Form of a Beriadren is often extremely resilient to physical damage, and they employ superhuman strength to defend their charges within the Dreamscape.

Once a Beriadren has proven themselves to Kaimelea, she raises them to the ranks of the Beriadrenas, lords and ladies of the House. The Beriadrenas have lost all ability to Dreamweave, but their aura completely nullifies the powers of the Twisted. The mere presence of a member of the Beriadrenas within a dream is often enough to force a Twisted out of sleep completely.
Okay, but I'm going to have to try and counterbalance this someway in my writeup you know right? lol.

Quote:
Echadren: House of the Weaver
Masters of the art of Dreamweaving, the Echadren’s limitless imagination craft elaborate dreams and beings wherever they walk. They remain the only House known to create sentient life within a dream, with their brothers and sisters limited to the minds of animals at best. If a Twisted and a Dreamwalker are both attempting to Dreamweave a single object, an Echadren will be able to break the usual deadlock in their favour. Echadren are capable of summoning and controlling a vast array of people, animals and scenery at once.

The Echadrenas, masters of the House, have been charged by Kaimelea to be in charge of Dreamweaving her own Plane of Dreams, and it is they alone who are responsible for its mesmerising fluctuations of colour and life. The Echadrenas are often invited to live permanently within the Plane of Dreams, their Material bodies granted the power to walk between the Material Plane and her realm through ceremonies whose secrets are jealously guarded by the Echadrenas themselves.
Mesmerizing is misspelled. Also, walking between the two planes whenever they feel like ? o.O

Quote:
Nestadren: House of the Healer
The comforting words and soothing hands of House Nestadren are pillars that support the stability and peace of the Dreamscape. While most Dreamwalkers learn basic healing as part of their Dreamweaving ability, the effects are usually temporary and leave the Dreamwalker with crippling, invisible injuries when they awaken. It is the ministrations of the Nestadren that sooth these pains, and without them the Dreamscape would become a much more dangerous place for Kaimelean followers. Saying this, the Nestadren would be insulted if one assumed that physical healing was all they were capable of. In a world governed by the thoughts and dreams of others, the Nestadren pride themselves on their ability to heal and sooth the mind. Many who come seeking Kaimelea’s aid across Aelyria are sent to the Nestadren, whose ability to comfort, sooth and heal the mind are unparalleled by any other House, some practitioners surpassing even mystics in their restorative abilities.
in the last sentence, it seems like you threw two sentences together. Put a period after House and make the second half into a complete sentence.

Quote:
The lords and ladies of the Nestadrenas are so proficient at this art that they are rumoured to be able to restore the sanity of those who have gone insane or are suffering from great mental anguish or turmoil, as well as being the only mortals known to be able to reverse the process of Consummation.
...as long as they can find the two pieces to sew them back together. Just being like oops ur fine againz. is like, not cool.

Quote:
Manadhren: House of the Zealot
If Kaimelea is the Dreamwalker’s god, the Manadhren are her Angels of Death, warriors of unwavering loyalty who walk the boundary between light and darkness every darkening to safeguard those whom they serve. All Manadhren are unparalleled fighters, thanks to enhanced reflexes, stamina and strength that rivals their brothers and sisters from Beriadren.
Thanks sounds so informal and writeups, to me, are like essays in formality. Perhaps replace it with "because of their"?

Quote:
The Menadhren are also the only Dreamwalkers with the capacity to inflict physical damage upon their targets, forcing the Twisted to feel any injuries sustained in their sleep as though they were real. Coupling this with their ability to capture and hold Twisted within a dream, as well as the ability to force them back into the waking world, make them formidable opponents to any Twisted they come across.

The powers of the Menadhrenas are rarely employed, as Kaimelea hardly ever requires the visitation of death upon her targets. The lords and ladies of the Menadhrenas hold the power to stop an opponent’s heart from beating, should they manage to kill them within a dream. Truly Angels of Death, if you are killed in a dream by a member of the Menadhrenas, you will not awaken.
Kaimelea and the association of "the angel of death" is kinda... off to me. I know what you are going for here, and they would probably be like the bounty hunters for the Twisted, but at the same time, just the word association makes me go o.O??

Where do souls go if Kaimelea kills them if they AREN'T Twisted? Why would she kill someone who isn't a Twisted?

It feels like this set of people can do more than some of the other sets of people. Don't take this the wrong way but seeing the depiction of what you want Quil's dream form to be like, it comes across in this section of the writing that this is what your character is going to be. Be careful about bias and balance and leave yourself out of it!

Quote:
The Tools and Symbols

The Dreamcatcher - Appearance:
Often dismissed by the uninitiated, the Dreamcatcher is the utility knife of Dreamwalking. Many Dreamwalkers tattoo a Dreamcatcher upon their skin to provide permanent access to its power, while others prefer the more conventional hanging design. These are essentially the two different ways one can create a Dreamcatcher: a stand-alone object and a design drawn onto a surface. Both are equally potent, with personal preference and convenience being the only separation between the two.


Regarding design, Dreamcatchers can have varying patterns and weaves in their main 'body', but they will all share similar fundamental traits:
  • Circular boundary
    All Dreamcatchers consist of a circular perimeter, within which lies the main design. This represents the cycle of Brightening and Darkening, and the infinite nature of the conflict between dreams and nightmares.
  • Two-dimensional
    A non-issue with the drawn design style, hanging Dreamcatchers consist of a two-dimensional design woven within a flat, circular frame. This represents the intangible, non-Material nature of the Dreamscape as well as emphasizing the close proximity between the Dreaming and Material Planes.
  • Symmetry
    A Dreamcatcher must have at least one line of symmetry bisecting it. This ensures order in the Dreamcatcher's power, otherwise its effects will become chaotic and unpredictable.
  • The 'Eye'
    More metaphorical than literal, this merely refers to the centre of the design. This is the nexus where the power of the Dreamcatcher is channeled. Dreamcatchers with an 'open' or unadorned centre are used by the Dreamwalkers, whereas those with 'pierced' or impeded centres are used by the Twisted.

The Dreamcatcher - Uses:
  • On its own, a Dreamcatcher is used to ease the owner's passage from wakefulness to sleep. Conversely, the owner finds waking up much easier.
  • When blessed by a follower of Kaimelea, the Dreamcatcher will protect the owner from nightmares, acting as a Walker Ward against Risthal and her Twisted.
  • When combined with the Velrondan ability to summon Dream Denizens, the Dreamcatcher creates a portal within a dream that leads into the Plane of Dreams, accessible only to the Denizens themselves. Dreamwalkers who try to cross through the portal will find themselves walking out of the portal in the same direction they went in.
  • Why would you want to send things you created into the plane of dreams? o.O "Here are toys for you to play with Kaimelea!" ?? Confused about the point of that.

    Quote:
  • When used with a Dreamwalker's True Name, that Dreamwalker can be Soul Summoned and trapped within the Dreamcatcher, provided both parties are asleep and dreaming at the time.
Quote:
The Eye of Cendren:
An ancient and mystic symbol originating in Trelorian Reveries, the Dream Eye was drawn in place around the eyes of the Seers of Cendren in kohl, charcoal, paint or various other form of body-art medium. In recent eras, makeup is a useful alternative to the more traditional mediums.
I'm a dummy. Is kohl a type of drawing medium >_> ??

Quote:
Essentially, the Eye – an elaborately drawn eye of Kaimelea - will act as a form of revealing device, allowing the Cendren to see a ghostly image of a Dreamwalker's Dream Guise even when on the Material Plane. Useful for detecting fellow tradesmen, as well as allowing them to detect their opposite numbers on the rare occasion the two of them come into contact in the Material Plane.

The benefits of such a device is a double-edged sword; as fellow Dreamwalkers are revealed to you, you potentially reveal yourself to the Twisted. And in a society where anonymity is your greatest defence, this can be a potentially dangerous tool to the wielder.
Avoid using "you". Keep it third person here. "as fellow dreamwalkers are revealed to the Cendren, he is also revealed to the Twisted". etc. Also, defense is misspelled. De-fence is like "Joe was de-fencing his property so that it would be connected with the meadow." Defense is like "Bob is on defense in this soccer play." Additionally, the sentence it is in is a very... big fragment. Take away the And. Sentences shouldn't start with And !

Quote:
The Shield of Beriadren
A rune that resembles a shield with the eye of Kaimelea in the centre. When drawn onto an object or person in a dream, it becomes impervious to Dreamweaving. Only able to be used by the Beriadren.
How long does this last?

Quote:
The Sword of Manadhren
A rune that resembles a sword with the Kaimelean eye for a hilt. This rune empowers a weapon with the ability to cause physical harm to its targets, leaving them with phantom pains where the weapon strikes upon awakening. The weapon will only work for those of the Manadhren.
Cause physical pain... in the dreamscape?

Quote:
The Staff of Nestadren
A rune that resembles the Kaimelean Eye adorning the head of a staff. Drawn onto an injured party, usually with some sort of liquid or makeup, the rune accelerates the Nestadren’s own healing abilities.

The Amulet of Echadren
A rune that resembles the Kaimelean eye within a pentagram. This rune is usually carved onto some sort of charm or talisman worn by the Echadren, and clarifies the mind, allowing them to visualise their goals more effectively and is what empowers them to harness their full potential.
Pentagrams and Eyes seem like a funny combo that doesn't quite fit to me personally. *shrug*

Visualize is misspelled.
Quote:
The Dream Threads

Overview:
An anchor between the mind and body; A portal used by others to draw you together; A vulnerability that can be used to another’s advantage; these are all accurate descriptions of the phenomenon known as Dream Threads.
Back the semicolon train up a sec dude. You're committing all sorts of track switching here ! You capitalized after a semicolon, you shouldn't do that. You are putting a ton of complete sentences that aren't really that related together, and I think the vulnerability one can be reworded to sound less weird. "A vulnerability that can be used by another as an advantage." Maybe put periods instead of semicolons. I would say commas but it is too long that way. Need an english major opinion on this :P

Quote:
Through meditation, a Dreamwalker can unfocus their concentration from the specific dream they currently inhabit to view the entirety of the Dreamscape from an outside perspective.
Unfocus is not a word. Unfocused is, but unfocus is not. Look it up if you don't believe me !

Quote:
From there, the Dreamwalker percieves the universe as a cluster of threads, each denoting a sleeping being. The Thread belonging to the Dreamwalker appears attached to them in some way, usually tied around a finger. When a Dreamwalker moves into another dream, that person’s Dream Thread also attaches to the Dreamwalker. It is through the manipulation of Dream Threads that a large majority of the Dreamwalker’s interpersonal skills are worked.
I before E except after C !

Second bold = I dont think thread is capitalized here.

Quote:
Appearance:
The shades of Dream Threads indicate the subconscious response a Dreamer has to their dream. Essentially, the threads that lead to nightmares are black or dark grey, and light grey or white threads are pleasant dreams.

The thickness of the Thread denotes the strength of the connection between the bearer’s mind and body. The novice telella, as well as those untrained in Dreamwalking have the titular thread, with the thickness of the thread, rope or cable increasing with the level of proficiency in Dreamwalking. Mysticists and those skilled in meditation have Dream Threads marginally thicker than the layman, indicating their affinity with the mind.
Okay, so, don't introduce these words and not define them.

Telella? What is that?

Titular? That means... having a title, but you are using it like thin? So confused.

Mystics is what we call practitioners of Mysticism.

Quote:
When not meditating, a Dreamwalker cannot sense the multitudes of Dream Threads that float in the Dreamscape, but with concentration, they can sense their own thread, as well as that of the Dreamer they are currently sharing a dream with.
If you meant to use the word titular earlier, then this doesn't make any sense, cause if a dreamwalker has a thread in title only, then what are they sensing?

Dreamwalkers should have threads though, because getting lost forever should be a potential issue, as is just getting severed and becoming Azaru! >_>

Quote:
Soul Summoning:
Whilst dreaming, a Dreamwalker is able to mentally scan the Dreamscape through meditation, sensing the billions of Dream Threads that connect dreaming souls to their bodies in the Material Plane. By uttering the name of a Dreamer, A Dreamwalker will see the corresponding thread of said Dreamer light up, glowing substantially brighter than its surrounding threads. By mentally 'tugging' on a Dream Thread, the Dreamwalker will be similarly 'tugged' to the targets side. This process of meditation, searching and finding particular dreams is what takes up a large proportion of the darkening for Dreamwalkers, and is how they find the nightmares to ‘save’ their inhabitants from.
First bold - A is not capitalized here.
Second bold - Target's is possessive of side.

I like the image idea I get from reading this though.

Quote:
If a precise search of the Dreamscape is required, the Dreamwalker attempts a Soul Summoning. Speaking the name of the Dreamer will cause their subconscious to react, making their Dream Thread glow and shine in the eyes of the Dreamwalker. Due to the sheer volume of Dream Threads present in the Dreamscape at any one time, it may take an initiate of Dreamwalking upwards of half a candlemark to locate the glowing Dream Thread, whereas the Ontaro – lords and ladies of the five Houses – usually only require a handful of minutes. Once the thread is discovered, a mental 'tug' is all that is required for a Dreamwalker to 'pull' them into the dream. If, within a dream, a Dreamwalker is summoned in such a way, they will see their own thread glowing and shining. Through force of will, the Dreamwalker can suppress the glow, preventing others from locating them.
Okay the first part of this is deja vu. You just told me that. I think either this section needs to go up until the point where you mention the Ontaro (which is a new word but at least you're defining it now) needs to go. No need to repeat yourself.

Quote:
Skill Tree

There are three ‘ranks’ of ability amongst Dreamwalkers. Listed here are the Trelorean names for them, as Dreamwalking is only new to Aelyria in the last dozen eras, whereas Kaimelea has been worshipped amongst the elves for millenia.
Worshiped has one P.
I don't think millenia is the correct time for Aelyria, since it means thousands of years. Why not say, "thousands of eras" instead? I don't know what the word for that would be in Aelyria but I don't think this is the right one. ^^

Quote:
Those in the transitory stage where they have not yet been welcomed into a House are known as the Telella, or ‘children’.
Aha!

This definition needs to go up higher because you used Telella earlier but didn't tell us what that was at all.
Quote:

The Telella:
  • Dreamwalk
    The Dreamwalker is now able to move away from their personal dream and explore the Dreamscape. They will not have access to the dreams of the more powerful races of Telath, such as Lamia, Dragons and Ancient Aelyrians, but the vast majority of the Dreamscape is theirs for the exploring.
  • I would say entering the dreams of a mystic is difficult if not impossible as well?

    Quote:
  • Dreamweave
    The Dreamwalker's understanding of Dream Essence grows over time to become sufficiently advanced for them to begin shaping the dreams and nightmares of others. Objects formed out of Dream essence look, feel, taste, smell and sound exactly as the Dreamwalker imagines them to - with practice – although aside from the Echadren, most Dreamwalkers struggle to animate anything more advanced than wild animals. Anything created from Dream Essence will be 'locked' into the form the Dreamwalker desires, unless it is forced into a new form or if the Dreamwalker that shaped the essence leaves the dream. In that instance, the Dream Essence will revert to its inert, invisible state.
  • Dream Guise
    The subconscious wishes and desires can manifest within the Dreamscape, imprinting themselves upon the Dreamer. It is usually the positive aspects of their subconscious that manifest, however it is not unheard of that a Dream Form hints at darker sides to the bearer’s past. This manifestation changes the Dreamwalkers appearance, voice and even personality, turning them into the one thing their subconscious desires them to be.
  • Dreamwalker's is possessive of appearance.

    Quote:
  • Homing Instict
  • Instinct.

    Quote:
    A Dreamwalker must be in their own personal dream to leave the Dreamscape and awaken. For Dreamwalkers, this would be a problem if not for the fact that they are constantly aware of their dreams presence while Dreamwalking and instictively know where to find it within the infinite space of the Dreamscape. This is because their Dream Thread constantly exerts a gentle, passive pulling upon their minds that draws them back to their personal dream whenever they try to leave it.
    Dream's is possessive of presence.
    Instinctively.

    I think the further the dreamer they are entering is from their sleeping location the less they feel the pull, making traversing half way across the Kingdom as a novice a bad idea. Don't want to get lost, right?

    Quote:
Quote:
The Veronda:
  • Warp Time
    The Dreamwalker can speed up or slow down time within a dream in comparison to reality, making a minute within the Material Plane stretch out into eras or compress down to the blink of an eye.
  • Walker Ward
    The Dreamcatcher can now be made to repel Twisted, an individual that the drawer knows the name of, or even Dreamwalkers in general besides the caster. Those individuals that try to enter a dream or nightmare that is 'protected' in this way will feel nausea and headaches that will become progressively worse the longer they trespass.
  • Summon Dream Denizen
    Often there comes a time where a Dreamwalker requires sentient life besides themselves within a dream, but does not have access to the powers of the Echadren. For most cases such as this, the Dreamwalker creates a portal using a Dreamcatcher between the dream and Kaimelea’s realm, through which the denizens of her realm may enter. The advantage of this, aside from not requiring an Echadren, is that an unlimited amount of denizens may enter the dream, many more than the stamina of most Echadren can handle. The disadvantage is that unlike sentience created by an Echadren, Denizens are not compelled to follow the Dreamwalker’s orders and must be convinced to do as bidding. This, coupled with the shapeshifting abilities of Dream Denizens, can prove to be quite a headache for Dreamwalkers if the Denizens prove uncooperative.
  • I like this idea.

    Quote:
  • Dream Sense
    Once ascended, the Velronda are able to sense Dreamwalkers and Twisted, distinguishing them from the 'unenlightened' Dreamers and non-entities around them within a Dream. Usually just a feeling, Ontaro are able to identify such entities upon visual contact.
An L has appeared in this word where it hasn't previously.

The last sentence feels like a fragmented idea.

All dreamwalkers being able to identify them upon sight seems a bit overpowered, I will have to counter this in my dream possession writeup if it stays in.

Quote:

The Ontaro:
  • Dreamwalk Mastery
    The Dreamwalker now has completely unrestricted access to the Dreamscape. They can visit the dreams of Lamia, Dragons, Ancient Aelyrians and other powerful races. Most Ontaro are also granted access to Kaimelea’s realm if they ask for it, such is her faith in their loyalty.
  • Sleepwalk
    The Ontaro are able to transcend their powers into reality, making the target’s body susceptible to harm. They do this by strengthening the link between the target's body and mind to the point where the sleeping body will mimic movements made by their dream self. Injury and strenuous activity may awaken the target.
Overall, I like the concept. We may need to do an OOC Crib sheet for moderators, and express that a GM+ will have to do these threads where they are given these abilities, since Kaimelea is involved and it is such a touchy subject. Basically, the idea being, not everyone can access this by self mod etc. And it is so long I'm not sure everyone will have the stamina to read it. It took me quite a few hours to go through it like that, but I was also looking for mistakes.

Question now becomes, should I start Dream Possession, or wait until you get feedback on yours to start drafting? You know I will have to make counter measures for the Twisted, although they wont have anything like your "houses" etc.^^

Anyway there are my comments. Take em or leave em for what they are.

Except don't leave the grammar comments and spelling comments! ;p

-Tia
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Old April 10, 2010, 11:32 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Idle note: Worshipped can be one p or two p's--I prefer two myself :P Soo that doesn't need to be corrected, if you prefer two p's over one. Just need to be consistent with it

And..plan to get to this myself, but need to wrap up GMing first.
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Old April 11, 2010, 03:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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OK, updated to include Tia's edits

By 'marbled', I was implying something like a marble cake, where the pearlvein runs through the rock in veins, giving the surface a marbled appearance.

Because a) the mechanics of it are too difficult to justify, and b) I don't really agree with its relevance to this writeup, I've taken out the Cendren's (seer's) ability to fortell the future. That's Kalendryas' job, and anyone can take a guess, it doesn't need to be labled as an ability.

Echadrenas can only move into Kaim's plane once. Permanently. It's like jumping straight into the afterlife without going through the messy business of dying first.
That reminds me, does anyone object to the concept that Dream Denizens were once Dreamwalkers that Kaimelea has 'saved' after death and brought into her plane?

And yes, I was taking the whole "you need to find the pieces first to reverse Comsummation" concept as a given. Edited

Regarding 'killing', I would assume the same thing happens to everyone. If you are killed in a dream, you die. Not sure if you want to put in some Nightmare Denizen clause in your writeup that harvests the souls of Twisted like Kaim does with hers, but the idea is that you die. Nothing fancy, or non-life-threatening. You're dead :P
And I would imagine that killing someone who is NOT a Twisted would be an extremely severe crime amongst Dreamwalkers. Why? Did I say somewhere that they did that?
Finally, I cut back some of the Menadhren's powers, namely their ability to hold Twisted in a dream and stop them from waking up and so forth. They can now flee and live to scare another day

(as a side note, I want my chary to eventually be a Beriadren!)

Kohl is "a cosmetic preparation used by women in Egypt and Arabia to darken the edges of their eyelids" Tru-fax

Limited the Shield Of Beriadren rune's power

The pentagram concept is supposed to represent the five houses Still doesn't work for you?

Properly introduced the telella and yes, Dreamwalkers have threads. That was just my poor wording :P

I'll keep the 'Dream Sense' concept and you're more than welcome to counterbalance it in your writeup. Imagine if a truly powerful Twisted entered a dream, it would be giving of waves of evil to those that could pick it up. Same with the converse, a Twisted's doing their stuff when they suddenly feel this saccharine sweetness and burning light whenever a powerful Dreamweaver walks in. How about I adjust it so that the weaker the Dreamwalker/Twisted is, the harder it is to detect them?

----

What's an OOC crib sheet? XD And I'd love to see some basic drafts for Dream Possession, although as mine changes you might have to adjust your counter-measures to keep it balanced. And if you start now, I can add in my own counter-measures if you want to add in some awesomely epic skill and would rather not tone it down too far

Thanks again for your comments, and I'm waiting with baited breath for Nimh's own analysis Good luck with the last of your GM stuff, Nimh!
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Old April 15, 2010, 11:58 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I think it would be better to have this in factions (see: Tia's Twisted) rather than in religion.

Quote:
manipulating Dreamer's experiences while they sleep.
dreamers'

Also, I think dreamers' needs to be lowercased. If we're talking about the people doing the Dreamwalking, then okay...but we're not. We're talking about the people they affect. So. Lowercased!


Quote:
Other skills are rumoured to exist at higher levels, such as visiting the mystical Planes of Dreams and Nightmares; the homes of the Planetars themselves, as well as tricking the host's sleeping minds into doing anything from sleepwalking to stopping their heart from beating.
Okay, semi-colon is not used correctly here. Semi-colons separate two individual sentences, connecting them with a mutual idea. If you read the second half, it is not a full sentence. As such, the semi-colon should be a comma.

Quote:
Such purposes include post-traumatic mental therapy, memory repression and retrieval, self-learning and communication across the continent and beyond.
Okay, sentence structure leaves this sort of sounding weird. I would just change a few words around.

Such purposes include memory repression and retrieval, post-traumatic mental therapy, self-learning and communication across the continent and beyond.

Also, post-trauamtic mental therapy sounds kind of more like a modern day thing than a then thing. Don't think people were seeking out therapy way back when.

Quote:
experienced by mortals take place in a no-mans land called
no-man's

Quote:
Unfortunately, skills that do not produce many physical effects such as those used in Bardism, Ikonomancy and the majority of Mysticism are unable to be replicated.
Add a comma after physical effects

Quote:
memories of the Brightening's events, summoning
Lowercase brightening's

Quote:
summoning the very definition of peace or happiness as a dream or generating nightmares from the depths
Add a comma after as a dream

Quote:
others see it as an island floating amongst the clouds
among

Quote:
If one follows the marble staircase upwards as it encircles the Loom’s pillar, they will eventually reach the Throne Room. Here resides the Planetar of the city of Reverie, who at the present moment is Kaimelea, She Who Opens the Eye. On each side of her are Skavias the Mother Dragonfly and Rhyax, Weaver of Dreams. Lavat the Iridescent Serpent coils around her neck as Muse floats like a fog around her feet. Surrounded by her minions, Kaimelea governs the darkening-to-darkening operations of the Plane of Dreams.
Is this supposed to be a new paragraph or an extension of the paragraph above it? Always double enter after a paragraph to start a new one...or delete the return if it is a continuation.

Quote:
Here resides the Planetar of the city of Reverie, who at the present moment is Kaimelea, She Who Opens the Eye
The latter half of this sentence is unnecessary--you already stated it above. Delete everything from the comma to the period. Obviously, replace the comma with the period.

Quote:
On each side of her are Skavias the Mother Dragonfly and Rhyax, Weaver of Dreams.
Add a comma after Skavias and Dragonfly

Quote:
The exact appearance of the Dreamwalkers Guise is dependent upon their subconscious
Dreamwalker's

Quote:
Some practitioners surpass even mystics in their restorative abilities.
Cap Mystics

Quote:
Often dismissed by the uninitiated, the dreamcatcher is the utility knife of Dreamwalking. Many Dreamwalkers tattoo a dreamcatcher upon their skin to provide permanent access to its power, while others prefer the more conventional hanging design. These are essentially the two different ways one can create a dreamcatcher: a stand-alone object and a design drawn onto a surface. Both are equally potent, with personal preference and convenience being the only separation between the two.




Regarding design, dreamcatchers can have varying patterns and weaves in their main 'body', but they will all share similar fundamental traits:
Huuuuge space between these two paragraphs. Condense it to the normal amount of returns between two paragraphs.

Quote:
can have varying patterns and weaves in their main 'body'
Don't think you need to say 'in their main body' at all--would nix that

Quote:
This represents the cycle of Brightening and Darkening
Lowercase brightening & darkening

Quote:
An ancient and mystic symbol originating in Trelorian Reveries
mystical

Trelorean

Quote:
an elaborately drawn eye of Kaimelea
Cap Eye

Quote:
And in a society where anonymity is a Dreamwalker's greatest defence, this can be a potentially dangerous tool to the wielder.
Get rid of 'and' - cap In

Quote:
with the eye of Kaimelea in the centre
Cap Eye

Quote:
Kaimelean eye for a hilt
Cap Eye

Quote:
Kaimelean eye within a pentagram
Cap Eye

Quote:
An anchor between the mind and body, a portal used by others to draw you together, a vulnerability that can be exploited by others; these are all accurate descriptions of the phenomenon known as Dream Threads. Through meditation, a Dreamwalker can transcend their focus of concentration from the specific dream they currently inhabit to view the entirety of the Dreamscape from an outside perspective. From there, the Dreamwalker perceives the universe as a cluster of threads, each denoting a sleeping being. The thread belonging to the Dreamwalker appears attached to them in some way, usually tied around a finger. When a Dreamwalker moves into another dream, that person’s Dream Thread also attaches to the Dreamwalker. It is through the manipulation of Dream Threads that a large majority of the Dreamwalker’s interpersonal skills are worked.
Cap Thread/Threads throughout--you missed a few

Quote:
The telella - initiates of Dreamwalking yet to be accepted into a House - as well as those untrained in Dreamwalking have a fragile thread
Get rid of the - and exchange them for ,

Quote:
thread, as well as that of the Dreamer they are currently sharing a dream with.
Cap Thread

Quote:
Whilst dreaming, a Dreamwalker is able to mentally scan
While

Quote:
Once a thread has been chosen by the Dreamwalker
Cap Thread

Quote:
whereas the Ontaro – lords and ladies of the five Houses – usually only
Change the - for ,

Quote:
There are three ‘ranks’ of ability amongst Dreamwalkers. Listed here are the Trelorean names for them, as Dreamwalking is only new to Aelyria in the last dozen eras, whereas Kaimelea has been worshipped amongst the elves for many thousands of patterns.
Those in the transitory stage where they have not yet been welcomed into a House are known as the telella, or ‘children’. Once the telella have passed a rite of initiation, they are then welcomed into one of the five Houses and are known as the Veronda, or ‘faithful’. Finally, the Ontaro, literally ‘parents’, rule over each of their respective Houses and answer directly to Kaimelea herself.
As an aside, Dreamwalkers in Trelore are known as the Kaimelaras, after their Queen.
Okay, either double enter or do not enter at all--make this all one paragraph!

Quote:
House are known as the telella, or ‘children’. Once the telella have passed a rite of
Cap Telella (you did cap the other title/names)

Quote:
their dreams highly difficult for telella to invade.
Cap Telella

Quote:
Objects formed out of Dream essence look
Cap Essence

Quote:
anything more advanced than wild animals.
What's more advanced than something that moves and makes sounds?

Quote:
the veronda are able to sense Dreamwalkers and Twisted,
Cap Veronda

Quote:
Greater Dreamwalking
The verondan's increased proficiency with locating and entering the dreams
Cap verondan

Also, check your format for this list point--it's off!





Okay, thoughts: I think it's pretty solid, actually, barring some questions or comments here and there in my edits/commentary. Also, I've moved this over to People, because it should be viewed as a Faction (like Twisted - so I've moved it appropriately), and think you need to retitle this to "Dreamwalkers" or the elvish name for them (Kaimelaras)
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Old April 15, 2010, 12:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Awesome Nimh, and in answer to your questions above

Quote:
Also, post-trauamtic mental therapy sounds kind of more like a modern day thing than a then thing. Don't think people were seeking out therapy way back when.
How aboooout...mental healing? counselling? I'm sure they had something like that back then, even if it was to go to your local church and ask a priest for guidance or something.

Quote:
What's more advanced than something that moves and makes sounds?
Something capable of sentient thought Wild animals is the most 'advanced' creation that most DWers can make, the Echadrens know weaving well enough to mimic complex thought patterns and the like. These aren't puppets, more of a 'wind-up-and-let-them-go' thing. You create the wolf, it runs off and does wolfy things without your input. Echadrens can 'create' sentient races within the dream and give them individual personalities and so forth. Should I try to clarify that in the text?

Also, would I be allowed to call the next draft [Final Draft], if all that needs to be done from here on is formatting/grammar/spelling?
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Old April 15, 2010, 12:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Then I think you need to state that they're not capable of creating something more advanced than a non-sentient being! It gets the point across a lot clearer. After all, in the game that is Aelyria, wild animals are not the only non-sentient beings

Hmm mental healing might be the better choice. Although it sounds awkward. Letting my brain marinate on it!

And, sure - rattle off a final draft and we'll see how it goes!
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Old April 16, 2010, 11:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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The aforementioned Final Draft is up!

http://www.aelyria.com/forums/people...amwalkers.html
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