The Hard Way [Initiate Mysticism, Skay Please]

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

Summer of Era I of the Celestine Mandate
Ioannes, Era XIII Post Fractum.
Paradigm: Isle of the Crown Returns

Room 110 on the first floor.

Aeyr had found his room easily enough, and had taken residence there almost immediately after signing for classes in the Rainbow Towers. He had sold his only home in Nexus Prime, and had thus had little choice but to settle into his new living quarters sooner than later. He had been thoughtful of how this whole situation would turn out, and he considered the roommmates he would be sharing space with; he had only hoped they were bearable, at least. It was a wonder in itself that he had three of them, and he could only pray that they would not worsen his discomfort by being people that pulled at his nerves. He could only tell himself that patience would be key at this time in his life.

It was on the sixth floor that he would meet his tutor Thaddeus on the third day of his stay. He had not been told the exact location of this "training room," or even how many other people would be under this man's tutelage with Aeyr, but he figured that he would find that out himself, with time. Upon arrival of the designated floor he looked about himself for someone who did not seem occupied either physically or mentally, and attempted to catch their attention, if only for a moment's time.

"Excuse me, but would you be able to tell me where I could find a man named Thaddeus? I was told to report to him here on this floor."

[Skay Ravendi]

Well there was one problem with the sixth floor. It was usually a bit more quiet than the other floors. The reason was simple, here was where a few adepts lived and here was where the training rooms were. Which equaled for by far less people being upon the floor, espechially compared to the first floor. As such there were no people in the corridor, therefore Aeyr's call went unanswered. On the other hand it wasn't overly hard to find the right room either. The teaching room was the second door to the left of the corridor and had a clear plate on it. The plate read:

Mysticism's Teaching Room
Thaddeus Dircombe

If Aeyr chose to go inside he'd find himself in a large room. At the end of the room there were two windows, none too small, none too large. Right next to the windows, with the back turned at them a human was sitting in a trully comfortable armchair, with his hands on a red wood desk. "Come in, come in." The man waved to his new student. He actually liked taking new students, it meant that he'd be able to have classes with just one instead of a bunch till he knew enough of the student's talents.

To the left side of the room there was a bookshelf holding just a few books and much more of vials, bottles and small boxes. Not too far from the desk, a bit to the right of the room there was a pile of colourful pillows all placed on the ground. Apart from that the room really didn't have anything extremely amazing or eye catching. Though there was also a small bird sitting on one of the windsills, however on the outside.

"Ayer Eg'anthor, aren't you?" The Master asked and scribbled down something onto his paper, which was on the desk. The quill that he was using was of a large red feather, but it was put aside soon enough. There was no other chair in the room, but the Master gestured to come close enough and never stay in the doorway. So the big brightening began.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

The sixth floor had not been what he was expecting, exactly. There was hardly anyone there... or anyone at all, in fact. His request was put on hold, and he was left to try and solve his problem all on his own, but then again, it wasn't much of a problem, to tell the truth. He spotted the room in no time at all, only the second door to the left of the corridor. On it was a plate that named both the course and the tutor, both of which matched exactly what he was looking for. Well, that was easy enough.

He entered the room, noting its size and the way it was set up; there were average sized windows at the end of the room, near them a desk and a comfortable-looking armchair. A bookshelf held various books and vials, while an array of colorful pillows were strewn across the floor, though not haphazardly. In the armchair was seated a man - human, like Aeyr.

The man welcomed his new student, and his voice had a pleasant air to it. It was something that Aeyr took in and kept note of, and favored all the same. He did as his new tutor asked, and strode into the room, closing the door behind him as he did so. Just then his eyes flickered upward to the movement on the windsill from the outside; he noted the bird, just as the man continued to speak, and then returned his gaze to the man in order to reply to his question.

"Yes, Sir. That would be me," he answered, watching as the fellow began to write something down. The moment was brief. "I'm... not sure how much you know of me, but I was hoping we might discuss some... problems I have, when it comes to the arcane," he continued. "I thought someone with your amount of knowledge might be able to help somehow... or at least give some thoughts. It would be appreciated."

There was an edge of hope in his voice, coupled with that inability to let it get to him, given the fact that he did not want to expect the most and get excited over nothing. He was not sure how much this man could help, but a part of him was hoping that he might at least know something... anything at all.

[Skay Ravendi]

"Oh?" the mast raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the question. He was actually quite glad that there were students who asked questions and who knew what they wanted to study and what it was that they wanted to study. Unlike some who were just children of the gemblooded nobles, who came with money, no motivation and usually ended up exploding through spell creation or even before that.

"So what kind of problems do you have?" He asked turning all attention at the possible student. Perhaps it was a common problem though. That he could not be Unbound. It couldn't be called a problem really though, as it was but a simple fact. That most people could not be Unbound and approximately only one out of a thousand could became a mage, even then it was usually one from a so called 'gemblooded' family.

"And please don't be afraid to speak. Tell me everything so that I could help you better, if I'll be able to at all." The master added as he watched the young human already wondering other problems that he could possibly have. While another thought wondered about his garden that he left unattended for the time being and feared the students from the sorcery tower to mess with it again.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

The man seemed truly interested.... That was certainly an encouragement. Perhaps he may know after all. And that was a good thing - a very good thing. Aeyr was hesitant for only a moment before he continued with what he had to say, content with the fact that the man's attention was turned to his words; at least for the most part, anyway... or as far as Aeyr could tell.

"Some time ago," he explained warily, "there was a quarrel between my master and I. She was a mysticist, as at first I thought I may have been, once... to some extent. As far as I can remember, she did something to me... to my mind. She... blocked it, somehow - inhibited the way it works. You see -" he paused, unable to truly explain the extent to which the woman's magic had affected his life and the way things were for him. "I... can't remember things well. It's very difficult for me, and sometimes painful. I'm afraid this may affect any attempts I make at magic in the future, since if I try anything else that requires extensive concentration, I experience pain at varying degrees."

Another pause. "For the most part I am willing to regain what knowledge I've lost. Even if you're not familiar with what difficulty I may have now or in the future, I urge that you look past it. Because despite it, I'm willing to endure and participate in this training until you deem it complete." He shook his head. When he continued, his words were quieter, if only slightly. "But I was hoping you may have some insight as to what I can do about what's been done to my mind. Or at least, how I may ease it somehow. I'm not certain whether or not I may have once known magic. I do know, however, that I was studying for quite some time in preparation for it."

After yet another moment, he continued again, this time as if on an afterthought. "I have attempted magic a few times since this... accident, in hopes that I might remember something. I admit even then, it was a fool's error, because I don't know anything about it, or even if I once knew it at all, and I've only been harming myself, or my mind.... I've been a long time in seeking help, or at least a tutor who is well-versed in the arcane, but I feel that I need that now, before I take any further steps.

"What I've done, though, has been nothing past reading and attempting to connect with the arcane energies we can supposedly understand and control.... As you probably already know, I had no success."

That last statement was something of an assurance, something of an apology, it seemed. He appeared to be somewhat troubled by his own stupidity, and how it may have made him look before his tutor now.

[Skay Ravendi]

The master listened, with a concerned expression over his face. He listened and only frowned on the word 'mysticist". When Ayer was done talking, the Master stood up from his armchair and walked over to the new student. "I'll need you to stay still for a while." Was all that he said and gently took the man by his head. Other than that, the Master simply looked at it. He did nothing, nothing visible at least, simply looked at it as if it was covered with something. After a few minutes he released Ayer and gave a short lasting smile.

"If you have ever been a mage, then you haven't gone over Initiate level. Whether you have been an Initiate or not is hard to tell though. I shall explain this later in your studies though. It is not of great importance anyway." The man walked back a bit, closer to his desk and rubbed his beardy chin. "If you had a Master mage place a... we'll call it a Memory Spell upon you, then I won't be able to give your memory back. It is most likely gone. You see there's a spell which simply whipes a part of a memory away. Some say that it's just a long lasting spell and not a permanent one, but... Well, if you'll gain your memory back then you'll know which it is."

For a short moment the Master's gaze went to the view outside the window. Clouds. Meh. He didn't like the look of those clouds, it was probably going to rain later. "So. It is quite possible that a part of your memory has been whipes. There is such a spell that does that in our sphere. As for attempting arcana. That's where our first lesson shall begin." There the Master gave his student a more encouraging smile and walked back behind his desk and sat down in the armchair.

"There is no way to cast spells or even see Arcana if you're not a mage. Not what "being a mage" means is that a person has been successfully Unbound. You see all people are born Bound, which means that they hace a certain mental constraint which can only be removed by other mages of the Adept level or higher. They have a technique to remove this barrier, which prevents all from doing Arcana. You have this constraint as well. I could see it when I looked at your mind. Now, Masters have another technique, which can Bind a person and prevent him from using Arcana again."

He smiled hopping that his student could piece the puzzle together. "Now. What can you piece from what I told you about yourself, the situation that you are in? What did you find out and do you know what further steps you're going to take now?" The master smiled, as he had placed the first simple test for his student. He waited for the reply and hoped to get something decent. Thaddeus was indeed quite sick from some students who he considered idiots with no mind, being here only because their rich parents sent them here to learn how to make their own bodies scatter into twelve pieces from the first thoughtless attempt at a spell.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

Aeyr was still as the man "examined" him, though all he did visibly was touch the young man's head and look at him for a brief moment. Some would have thought this tripe, as there seemed to have been little effort put into the gesture, but knowing that there was often more than what could be seen by the naked eye, Aeyr was content to know that the man had done what he could, and had done it to his best effort. With this in mind, he listened to what the man had to say, his mind open and attempting to piece this new and accepted information together, as well as a student in his position could. It was not necessarily news easily swallowed.

He let the man speak fully and did not open his mouth until he was asked to. He had respect for this man who had attempted to help him, and would perhaps further teach him to work with himself and his own constraints... and thus he owed him some measure of attention and... obedience, for the lack of a better term. He'd have to stomach it for now.

"From what I have grasped, Sir, everyone is born with a mental constraint, one of which I have, whether it was given to me or has remained there since birth. Meaning, all my attempts at Arcana were for nothing, and I should have known better, because no matter how much I would have tried, there'd be absolutely no way I could have pulled it off. What must be done first is have the mental constraint removed, if possible, otherwise I will not be able to open myself to Arcana in most, if any, shapes or forms."

He then fell silent again, his eyes firm on his teacher. He held no qualms about the situation, though he was ready to discover whether or not his answer had been correct... if there was even a correct answer to begin with. He had learned that in life there were a lot of trick questions... many of which one needed to get in order to survive. Whatever the form it was in, it was favorable for an answer to be correct, and in this instance he was simply ready to see if that was indeed the case.

[Skay Ravendi]

"Hmm, most correct." The Master nodded and he did look impressed or at least fully satisfied by the reply. Some thoughts rang in his head, so much was obvious by just glancing at him. And then he gave a short smile before speaking up. "If you are ready for your first test, then we can begin. If you are ready to be Unbound. However." He added with a more serious frown. "Rarely but it happens, some people die in the process Unbinding. It is always a risk. Though most people only experience pain for a short duration before they drop unconscious. After that many experience The Dream, which gives us strange views, sometimes memories, sometimes something close to visions, sometimes just amazing, wonderful or frightening dreams."

"It is a good thing though. Dropping unconscious that is. It means the Unbinding has been successful. Those who cannot become mages, usually experience nothing or mental pain through the process. However. Your case is a bit different. If you have been a mage and your Master has Binded you, then most likely, you will not experience this dream even if everything goes well. Still possible, though the chance is smaller. So just in case because of all of this I need you to move over to those pillows and sit down." The master pointed at a pile of pillows which were on the side of the room, by the wall all of this time.

"If you are ready and if you're not afraid to risk this, tell me and I shall begin. Who knows maybe you'll be a mage for the first time, maybe you'll remember many things." The Master smiled encouragingly and waited for the human's reply. This wasn't the safest thing really. There were records of students dying or being otherwise mentally wounded after the process. Even here in the Towers, where the work was done by skilled Master mages and not some beginner Adepts who just got their hands on the Unbinding technique. But then there was a risk in everything.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

Aeyr listened with a slight frown to what the master had to say - as it would seem that the unbinding would be a rather tedious and difficult process at best. He was not sure how much effort it would entail for the tutor himself, but something so important no doubt required some measure of it on both ends. What of course concerned the student the most, however, was the amount of risk the procedure involved, and Aeyr was given but a moment to consider whether or not he was ready to place himself in that position.

He had come to terms long ago with the fact that life was full of risk and danger. He knew that even by coming here today with the inhibitions on his mental capacities he was placing himself in a certain amount of danger. He even knew that a good deal of his life had involved risk and pain and death in some form or another always lingering around the corner. He was used to all, to some degree. Though he would never wish it upon himself, he knew when such things were either necessary, or when they would be worth enduring the sake of a better outcome.

"If I die today, at least I can't say I never took a step forward." Something a smile edged at the corner of his lips, and with that he did as his new master asked and took a seat by the group of pillows.

Whatever would happen, he was at least, to some extent, prepared. He had endured a fair amount of pain over the last few cycles, even eras, even if it would never amount to what he might feel in a few moments. Whatever the case, he would not turn away from it now, when there was the prospect of feeling himself with the concept of magic within his grasp. It was in his family, his past, his blood. He never considered life without it, and now with it so close at hand, he could not turn away something so firm in his thoughts and his most intimate goals. No, it was the completion of a new era in his life or a most immediate death; he could not see it any other way.

The young man took the mage's encouragement to heart, but thought on it little with something so drastic so close at hand. "I'm ready," he confirmed.

[Skay Ravendi]

"You won't die." The words were simple as that. For some reason the Master looked confident enough. When Ayer went to the pillows and confirmed that he was ready, the Master went near him and gently placed his hands on the student's head. At first he felt nothing, then a slight probbing on the left side of his head. Then it got stronger. But it was still bearable. Though it did make him feel uncomfortable. He felt something... something as if his mind was resisting to the probbing, fighting back the pain.

And then a powerful lance of hot needles shot through his mind, through his head and down to the neck. The pain however didn't last more than two or three seconds and Ayer was already falling down to the pillows, losing consciousness. The last thing that he saw were the black shoes of his Mysticism Master. And then he was covered by blackness. Had the Unbinging been successful or did it end with his death? Or worse, would he wake up demented?

~~~

How long it was that he had been unconscious? Minutes? Hours? Maybe even brightenings? It was so hard to tell as his mind returned to the conscious realm, eyes slowly opening up. The track of time was totally out of Ayer's grasp. He did feel extremely hungry and too tired. Way too tired. He was in the same room where the Unbinging began and there was the Master sitting in his armchair, reading a book with his tiny glasses on his nose. And then he noticed Ayer waking up.

With a smile, the Master closed the book and turned his attention to the new student. "Congratulations. You've been Unbound." For the first few moments of consciousness even those words sounded too loud for the exhausted mind. The Master didn't say anything else and simply waited. The pillows were still there, though for Aeyr it felt as if his mind had been banged into the concrete wall a few times and then stepped on by an orc or a giant. But... he was alive.

OOC: When Ayer falls unconscious you can describe The Dream if you want. You should really have one if it's the first time he's being Unbound, if the second time then the chances to have it are slimmer, but you can still do it if you want.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

OoC: Apologies for my huge delay.

There was nothing to be felt next to the initial unfamiliarity of the man's hands upon Aeyr's head, as well as a gentle stillness that wrapped itself about the two for those few moments lost in time. Yet that peace was soon to grow a lost and needed feeling when a growing feeling of intrusion made its way into the left side of the young man's head, a steady impulse that expanded to the point of inducing a small amount of pain. It was something familiar to the times when a memory drifted unwelcome into his thoughts, trying desperately to break free of the block that had been placed to prevent just that. He resisted the urge to shift, or to somehow shake this rising discomfort, and he succeeded some small amount due to a new feeling that had overcome him - a feeling of some type of mental resistance that he had not completely attempted in any conscious state of mind.

Yet suddenly any comprehension or attempt at such was gone, as his head and neck were seemingly pierced by a sudden surge of thousands of unseen needles. His body reacted upon impulse to this "attack," tensing up and fighting to resist such irregularity, yet the situation and the experience both lasted no longer than a few mere seconds. Already the man's body was falling limply onto the mass of pillows, void of all conscious thought.

***

A woman's voice beckoned, ethereal and broken, in a language or a sound unknown to Aeyr. Identifiable in neither word nor emotion, he merely felt a magnetic touch to its disjointed qualities, a calling he could not answer to in the midst of his recovery. His eyes were already open, but he felt as though he were yet to lift himself from any alternate reality; his body and mind both drifted eerily in a state of clouded and sometimes unattempted judgment, and it were as though he was not entirely his own person. A gray, distorted, unfamiliar atmosphere draped about him like a disturbed yet silent mass of clouds, a mixture of such emotion that he could both feel nothing, and everything all at once. Strangely, this did not disturb him. He was distanced from usual human emotion. His mind was somehow... disjointed.

The woman's voiced faded, and then grew more significant as time seemed to pass. Its sounds and aspects grew no clearer than they had been before, yet upon it was lifted a more familiar quality... one that attempted to brush away any discomfort and leave him in a state of relaxation, to the point of being numb to everything around him. He was not sure why, yet in truth he didn't care. He didn't seem to care about anything. If he hadn't been so disconnected from his own existence, perhaps he could have appreciated such lack of earthly concerns.

After a long moment of thoughtless appreciation of this sound, he suddenly gained some measure of natural operation. He noticed that there was a wind - a soft but not too chilly wind - and that it was disturbing his hair and clothing as he laid sprawled upon the ground. It was a bit rocky and cold beneath him, now that he had gotten into the process of noticing things... and he was beginning to acquire a stiffness in his limbs that grew more unsettling as the minutes flickered by.

He attempted to move. A soreness in his body prevented him from doing anything immediate, but with time he was able to prop himself into a working, upright position. As actual thought slowly began to seep into his brain, he took the opportunity to glance around; he saw nothing but a cloudy grayness that could, perhaps, resemble fog.

A sillhouette began its steady emergence from the foggy and distorted distance, accompanied by the rhythmic 'click' that resembled the familiar noise of heeled boots. The remembrance of something similar sent something of a jolt of awareness through his mind, and he blinked in surprise, since as it were, the emotion came naturally to him now. The shadow took substance and became the shapely figure of a long-haired woman, its hips giving a gentle and meaningful sway as though subtly tantalized by some rocking wind.

"My darling child." The noises shifted and became words, first things to ears and then to pierce the soul. "Why do you seek to break this hold I have on you? Neither I nor time have ever been on your side, dear Aeyr.... Why do you continue to fight us?"

A light-skinned, steely blue-eyed woman stepped forth and into clear view, her lips barely traced with a sultry and yet wicked smile. Without hesitance she leaned forward, an elegant hand reaching forward towards his apathetic face.

"I loved you once," continued her gentle and mysterious voice, lingering on the smoky air, "once when I had the simplest thought that you were loyal and could have felt the same. But even I can be caught unaware with such naiive and unforgiving thoughts.... Such things would never happen twice, and of that I can assure you...."

She reached forth to touch his cheek with her fingertips, but by this point Aeyr had regained what was left of his waiting awareness and twisted away, knowing full well that she would always mean to harm him. He could feel her anger, her hatred, her feeling of betrayal, wrenching at his heart with no forgiveness nor any mercy. But he had no wish to wait for it, or her vengeance; he would not give her that satisfaction even if a part of him wished he could - thought bitterly that he should.

He stumbled forth, to his knees, attempting to gather some measure of balance in order to get to his feet, but in the process he fell forth again, to the bleak and lifeless earth. He breathed in, groaned, placed his palms beneath him, and then opened his eyes.

He saw nothing but a blackness, and yet somehow it was not as it should have been.

He closed his eyes again, roughly and hurriedly as though he had seen something he shouldn't have. He could feel the nearness of Phersai's chilling hands and his skin crawled at the thought of them reaching his shoulder. Once his heart would have sang and rejoiced even at the sight of her eyes touching his... and now, as he laid bitterly awaiting some kind of end in the cold emptiness, he felt as though he were giving himself to something never meant to walk Telath... a demon, perhaps, or some wicked creature meant only to bend his life into something unnatural and unfit for this world.

And then he opened his eyes. He was not sure what gave him this urge or that he had even thought to do it, but he did so and was greeted with a sharp and painful light that caused him to jerk away and cover his eyes. At first he did not recognize the place he found himself in, though as the seconds seeped by and time resumed its natural course, he became increasingly aware of his place in reality.

It was soft where he laid, still against the pillows, and his body was wracked with both hunger and fatigue. As his eyes adjusted he attempted to look around himself slowly, so that perhaps he'd actually recall where it was he laid, or at least for how long. The time escaped him, as he was unaware of even his current role in it, but he noticed the slightly familiar man seated, and reading, in the armchair not far away. He began to remember who it could have been, and what may have transpired before Aeyr had lost his grip on the world.

The man spoke, and at first the sound caught Aeyr unaware. He was not sure what it was, until finally he realized that it had been an actual, spoken language... one he understood. The words found their way slowly into his mind, finding first meaning and then reaction. He blinked. So that was what had happened. Yes, now he could remember....

It was good that the man had waited and was silent, for now that the words had filled the air Aeyr realized his head felt as though it were beaten severely multiple times. He shook it very gently and felt as though his brain were swolen and juggling within it, and with that he stopped the movement. His continued to blink a few times, still trying to regain composure.

Yes, he was certainly alive. But it certainly did feel as though he could have been otherwise.

[Skay Ravendi]

The Master gave a few more minutes for Ayer to regain his calm and wake up more, then he brought a cup of warm tea. "Here, take it. Drink it, it will help, it has some relaxing herbs in it." The Master explained and handed the tea cup to his student. "We also use relaxing herbs, liquids or scents to help students reach Clara. But I shall explain more about it tomorrow. We're not going to study this brightening, you and your mind need to rest."

The Master went back to his desk and slumped down into his armchair. "Most likely you had a dream. Its alright and completely normal. Many mages get it during Unbinding. Now some consider these to be actual visions, actual memories or even knowledge of future. My personal opinion is that this is just a dream, nothing more. Something out mind produces in images from the thoughts, desires and fears that we have. I want force either view onto you though, choose whichever you want to believe." The master himself was convinced that those were just dreams though.

"Go home when you finish your tea and return to me at noon tomorrow. Rest well and don't try anything silly." When Ayer was ready to leave the Master would simply give his serales and go back to reading his book in the same spot for the rest of the brightening. As for tomorrow, tomorrow the studies would begin. The actual dip into Arcana, the power, the flow, the nexus. Into the life of a mage.

[Aeyr Eg'anthor]

Aeyr accepted the tea quietly and breathed the warm air emanating from it as he absently listened to what the man was saying. He was still somewhat distant and disoriented from his recent experience, but he took note of how his new master did not see much in the meaning or the substance of the dream most unbound students experienced. He would, then, take such things with a grain of salt, for even though it had been quite vivid and full of disturbing inferences, he had learned that many things were much more - and could be much less - than what they actually seemed. He would keep thought of it, but would not delve deeply into what working might not even be there behind it.

"Of course," Aeyr responded meekly between careful sips of the dark liquid. He was aware of what dangers further tampering would present to him - especially now that he had been unbound. He would refrain from doing anything stupid, and he had no wish to cause himself any more harm than he felt he had already been put through.

He was gone after he finished the tea and as soon as he could stand. He was a bit sluggish and distant when making the tip back to his room, and was asleep soon after he touched the bed. He was fatigued, and felt broken, but despite how he needed a lot of sleep, the fact that he did so at such an early time prevented him from being late the next morning.

He arrived at noon, as had been requested - or told - of him, and though he carried with him the remains of a rather exhausting previous day, he was renewed and ready enough to greet the new brightening with a more fresh and open outlook. Things felt different - though he was not certain if this was his opening, or reopening, to the channels of arcana, or if it was simply his mind, now that he was expecting something to change. Whatever the case, he knew things would be different, as soon as he made that step through his master's door.

And he did, his gray eyes watching for the man that would take him to a higher learning. The day was young, and so was his mind. There would be much more to come.

[Skay Ravendi]

"Ah, seraa, seraa." Thaddeus greeted his new student when Ayer came. "I hope you had enough rest and are ready to continue, or should I say begin." He had an encouraging smile upon his face. "You probably know that the first thing you need to learn is Meditation. It's basically a process where you need to calm d