The Start of Beginning Meditation {Self-Modding}

[Nydardomond]

Afternoon, 37th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

Having spent his first morning in Nexus Prime gathering clothing and supplies, Nyd explored more of the city up until the early afternoon. During that exploration, he quickly got the distinct impression that he wasn’t very well liked in any form. Most people went out of their way to avoid even walking near him; others wouldn’t change their path but would of course give him foul stares and even fouler comments. City guards stopped him many times informing him that if he started trouble he would be sorry. All of this he took silently however each stare, every comment, affected him even if only in minute amounts. How could so many people be filled with so much hate he thought to himself. He knew that orcs were by nature, evil; beings to be feared and loathed. Although he was not fully of orcish blood, all who gazed upon him cared not. They only saw the orc and with that came the hate.

As the morning turned to afternoon, Nyd had just finished nibbling some travel rations as he wandered about the area of the city known as the Docks. He wasn’t very hungry and placed the dried food back into his pack as he rounded the corner into an alleyway. The winter chill was settling into the city and in it, he felt comfort. It was the first bit of comfort that he had felt since arriving in the city earlier that day and it had taken great effort to keep his anger in check after the treatment he had endured so far.

In the past, in the icy peaks of the mountains, he would often spend hours sitting amidst the cold pondering his existence. He found the cold to be comforting, mirroring the emptiness that he felt. Although he had his guardian and mentor, Gri’Tai, his soul felt lost. His orcish blood allowed him to withstand the freezing wind for a few hours at a time during which he would let his thoughts wander and dream of a time where he would be greater than what life had dished out. He often wished he could return to the isolation of the mountains, to the comforting chill of highlands but he knew that those days were over and to realize his dreams of greatness he would have to endure this new realm of life.

Fatigue; mental, emotional and physical began to slowly take their toll on him. As he entered the alleyway in the Docks, the snow began to fall and the wind started to pickup. He walked to where several stacks of crates were positioned behind an old warehouse. He sat down between a couple stacks, hidden from view of most casual passerby’s. Lowering his head, he closed his eyes and tried to ignore everything around him except for the chill air; he tried to just relax. As he sat there, snow beginning to cling to him, the cold blanketing him, he found his thoughts wandering toward those he passed along the road to the city. He saw their necks, each one of them, with his massive hands wrapped around them. He could feel their struggling and smell the fear in their gasping breath. His own breathing became ragged and heavy. Then his eyes flew open and his head shot backward, smacking into the wall behind him.

Cursing at the sudden pain, he rubbed the back of his head. Gri’Tai had spoke of teaching him how to properly meditate and calm his mind but alas was not able to before passing. Now more than ever, Nyd wished he would have received that teaching as he now found it as difficult as he had in the past when he tried on his own. He vowed however to learn one way or another, no matter how long it took him. He always had that strange feeling that by learning how to control his anger and focus it, he would be able to take that next step toward becoming more than he was.

Still rubbing the back of his head, now showing signs of a lump, he stood up and walked from the alley, feeling no more at ease than he had before entering. With a deep sigh, he walked back out into the city.

[Nydardomond]

Evening, 39th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

A few brightenings had passed since Nyd last tried to enter a state of calm. Since then he had no shortage of problems in Nexus Prime. The few places he sought out for lodging had either turned him away or wanted an exorbitant amount of crowns for a shoddy room. This left him setting up his tent in the outer-city in the Markus District. He even had to run from a more than dangerous group of thugs at the Docks who seemed intent on doing him great harm. After that he decided to avoid that area of the city and found himself drawn to the Markus District where although he did not receive great treatment, he was more or less left alone.

On this particular evening, Nyd sat in the darkness of his small tent, barely able to move without brushing against one of the sides. He wasn’t quite as angry as he was before and hoped that perhaps this time he could put more effort into trying to relax. He was exhausted both mentally and physically. He thought back to Gri’Tai and how the old man used to sit for hours in silence at the back of their cave, lost in his own thoughts. When he would come out of his meditation, he always seemed at ease and focused. From what Nyd had read in Gri'Tai's journal, now lying next to him, Gri'Tai used to sit the way he did because he found it was the best position for him to gain total relaxation. Thus Nyd tried to mimic the way the old man used to sit. His legs were crossed; his feet tucked close. His arms hung at his sides with hands resting on the ground palms down. He let his shoulders slump and his head hang forward. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Although he didn’t exactly reach any sort of enlightened state by doing this, he did succeed in falling asleep rather quickly and deeply, the first time in at least a cycle.

Nyd awoke the next morning in the same sitting position he was in when he fell asleep. He felt much better after having gotten his first full night of sleep in many brightenings. After a few bites of a travel ration and a couple gulps of water, he began reading again in Gri'Tai's journal, hoping to find out more on Gri'Tai's methods of meditating. So far he had discovered the best way to position his body for relaxing and knew that buy expanding on that, he could progress further.

After reading several more pages in the journal, Nyd got dressed, took down the tent, and gathered his gear. Now feeling more energized, he decided to go back to the inner-city and see what else he could learn about his new environment.

[Nydardomond]

Early-Morning, 40th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

Another good night of sleep left Nyd feeling quite refreshed. A couple of nights past he had discovered that by sitting a certain way, he could more easily relax his muscles and thus find sleeping much easier. In the short time since, he had assumed that posture whenever he wished to sleep. This morning he decided to once again venture into the city from his temporary camp setup in the Markus District. He had set a goal for himself each brightening to discover methods of attaining relaxation both in mind and body. The previous brightening he had wandered past the city gardens. Although he had not entered, he could see from passing by that the gardens may be a good location to try his hand once again at meditating.

The City Gardens were situated adjacent to both the Academia and the residential district. It was a large, public garden. Plants and greenery was everywhere, giving busy city people a place to relax from the vigours of the city.

It was divided loosely into two rings. The Outer ring was where most people spent their time. There were tiled walkways criss-crossing, small secluded ponds, benches where one could sit and talk in private and lawns where one could play if one so desired. Bushes and trees were strategically planted so as to keep areas separate. Flowers were also a common sight. They all had their purpose, some were there to spread their colours and give the place a bit of cheer in between all the green, others were there to add scents and others again to feed the bees that were kept on the outskirts of the garden. The scents of wild plants mingled with the salty sea air giving the place an odd, but pleasing aroma. The winter chill may have hit some of the plants however others seemed to flourish.

Statues appeared at regular intervals, showing everything from important city persons, historical personages, small fountains, and so on. Some were done in marble, others were done in granite, but they were all there.

Nyd strolled about for a time looking at every statue, fountain and flower. He had never before seen such a sight as he had spent nearly his entire life in the frigid heights of the mountains. After nearly an hour of exploring the outer ring of the gardens, he found one of the quiet, secluded ponds; a fountain shaped like a beautiful elven woman playing a flute. This early in the morning, there were few people about in the garden so Nyd was more or less, alone. He stepped a short distance from the path and sat near the edge of the pond.

Again sat with his legs crossed; his feet tucked close. His arms hung at his sides with hands resting on the ground palms down. He let his shoulders slump and his head hang forward. Everything was silent save for the trickling water from the fountain. As his body began to relax he let his eyes gently close. This was something he hadn’t done before as he usually had to force them shut. But now, more relaxed than usual, his eyes seemed to close naturally as if it were all part of process of sorts. Nyd tried this time to avoid falling asleep as he had each time prior. He focused on the sound of the trickling water. He listened as it bubbled from the top of the fountain and fell softly down the surface of the stone; collecting in small puddles, then trickling down further into the pond below. He sat like this for quite some time, allowing the peaceful sounds of the water fill his ears and cool scents of the garden enter his lungs.

He felt as though he were on the threshold of entering something more but some unseen barrier held him back. His forehead began to crease and his eyes tightened shut. His breathing became more labored as he fought to hold onto that which he still could not yet name. He finally opened his eyes, realizing that at least for now, what he sought would remain out of reach.

Frustrated but still somewhat pleased at his progress, he stood and walked over to a nearby bench where he took out Gri’Tai’s journal and continued reading; ever determined to overcome the anger of his blood and reach that next stage of his existence.

[Nydardomond]

Afternoon, 42nd Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

The afternoon found Nyd feeling like a new adventure of sorts. Since arriving in Nexus Prime nearly a cycle ago, he had yet to bathe. He hadn’t been keen on taking up residence within the inner city after the experiences he had with both muted and blatant racism from many of the people he encountered. This had the unpleasant side affect of creating a lack of bathing opportunity. Thus when he heard of the existence of a public bathhouse, he was more than ready to wash away the filth of living in squalor in the outskirts of the city. Still dressed in the rags he wore when he arrived, he packed up his gear and made his way into the city.

He had originally stumbled upon the bathhouse during his afternoon wanderings about the city. That part of the city, the Jasmine District, was where the wealthy and powerful of Nexus Prime lived. Feeling more out of place than usual, Nyd was sure to make his arrival at the bathhouse happen as quickly as possible.

The Public Bathhouses were a massive stone building, outstripping even the Cathedral for size if not splendour. It was a series of vaulted ceilings in the best granite, built at great expense in some far distant time. The outside was dominated by the white marble pillars typical of the Imperial architecture which dominated this building, though it crashed somewhat with the Arakmatan flavour which could be found here and there in the building.

Nyd couldn’t help but stop at the entrance and marvel at the magnificence of it all.

The entrance was decorated by a large fountain which contained several nude bodies, of either gender, and even a few races, from which water spurted and ran down. Lightly dressed guards moved around languidly although upon seeing Nyd, they were sure to keep close; not too close though as the smell was rather strong to be sure.

After entering the bathhouse, Nyd found the changing room. Lacking any real modesty, he began stripping away the rags that stuck to his bulky form. Tossing them in the nearby trash, he took one of the complimentary towels that hung from a rack on the wall. Before leaving the changing room, he stopped for a moment. The longer he spent in the city the more he was learning about the people. He realized that many of the people around him were bound to be rather prudish, modest, and quite possibly irrational about any public display of nudity so he wrapped the towel, which barely fit, around his waist and entered the baths proper beyond.

The rooms there were mostly circular, with frescoes on the walls depicting scenes of people playing at the beach or otherwise enjoying themselves. Most rooms had three pools, one of which was hot, another warm and a third cold. Nyd watched as some people shifted back and forth between these three different pools. He noted mixed genders in each bath as well as handsome and less handsome individuals of both genders and several races padding around silently, some humming to themselves.

It seemed as though the baths were not as busy during the afternoon which made sense to Nyd as he would assume most people would come around at night. He spotted a room that appeared empty and went in. He immediately went for the hot pool. Tossing his towel to the side, he stepped into the pool and slowly lowered himself into the hot water. The steam poured from the surface of the water and Nyd was in instant bliss. In the mountains if he wanted hot water, he had to heat it over a fire and it always seemed to get cold quite fast. Here though, he found himself in a whole new world of relaxation. He sank beneath the surface of the pool, only his nose remaining above water.

Lying there beneath the hot water, blanketed in warmth, everything was silent save for the beating of his heart. Nyd listened to the soft beats of his heart as well as his own breath as he breathed in deeply, holding it for a few moments before releasing it. Beneath the water he was without worry and without distraction. He felt himself letting go of everything; his loneliness, his fear, his anger, everything was being washed away with the slime and grime of the outside world.

As the dark claws of negativity lessened their grip on Nyd, he was left only with the sound of his own heart beating and his slow breaths. This is where he focused most of his attention; his breathing. He breathed in very deeply and held it for longer and longer before letting it out slowly. Each time he breathed like this, the burning anger that had been growing deep inside was dealt a vicious blow.

After nearly a candlemark of being submerged in the pool, Nyd allowed himself to slide back above the surface of the water. Taking one more deep breath, Nyd smiled and began washing off the rest of the now loosened dirt and grime from his body. When he was finally finished, Nyd stood and stepped from the now foul smelling, dirty water in the pool. He retrieved his towel and dried himself before rewrapping it around his waist. He returned to the changing room and unpacked the cloths he had bought a few brightenings ago. Dressing in the clean white shirt and grey velvet trousers, he pulled his high black boots on, strapped his belt, and pulled his fur cloak over his shoulders before exiting the baths and stepping out into the cold wet snow that had been falling since his arrival.

He knew he would be back to the baths very soon.

[Nydardomond]

Morning, 44th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

Nyd awoke early in the morning and was more than ready to make another trip to the bathhouse. As was his normal routine, he packed up his tent and the rest of his gear and left the Markus District destined for the inner city. The last time he had visited the baths, he noted that there were steam rooms as well. The steam rooms he felt would give him the opportunity to further his practice at meditation in order to find that balance within.

The more he read from Gri'Tai's journal, the more he learned about the practice of meditation and how once adept at it, one could reach amazing levels of self-awareness and control. He also learned from his reading that breathing and posture were essential to the beginning stages of meditation. He had already practiced both but knew that he still needed much more to put the anger and rage of his blood in check. His efforts so far had proven quite successful although he knew that he just hadn't encountered the proper stimulus yet to set him off where he would potentially lose control.

At the bathhouse, Nyd moved through the changing room where he undressed and wrapped a towel around his waist. From there he made his way to the steam rooms. He particularly enjoyed the early mornings as the facilities were more or less empty with most patrons taking advantage of the baths in the evenings.

Arriving at one of the small, secluded steam rooms, Nyd opened the door and entered. He was greeted by a thick cloud of steam. Picking up a pail sitting just inside the door, Nyd walked over to the glowing hot stones. Pouring the water over the stones, Nyd stepped back as the steam increased. He tossed his towel to the side and went over to one of the few benches in the room. He sat down, his legs crossed, feet tucked inward, and breathed as deeply as he could, the steam allowing him to take in only so much.

Growing up in the icy peaks of the mountains left Nyd feeling rather taken aback by the steam at first but after a short time he found that he very much enjoyed it. Closing his eyes, Nyd leaned back against the wall. As he breathed, he found that the thick steam forced him to focus on his breathing even more. The heat seeped into every inch of his flesh and his muscles relaxed almost instantly. Sweat dripped slowly at first but after a short time feel freely from his greenish skin.

His breaths were slow, smooth, and timed. Nyd focused all of his thoughts on his breathing. After a while, he no longer had to think about his breathing as the rhythm came naturally. His eyes were lightly closed and his posture was steady and relaxed. He broke this state only a couple times to pour water on the stones.

Although he was able to stay in the steam room for nearly a candlemark, far longer than the average human could withstand, the heat started to take its toll on Nyd and he was no longer feeling relaxed. Finally he stood up and wrapped his now wet towel around him. When he stepped outside of the room, the moist air of the rest of the bathhouse washed over him. Although warm, it felt cool and refreshing after being in the steam room for so long. He made his way back to the changing room where he dressed and stepped back out into the cold streets of Nexus Prime.

[Nydardomond]

Morning, 45th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

Another morning arrived for Nyd and found him rather disturbed by the previous night's dream.

He was sitting in the middle of the cave in a meditative state; the one he used to inhabit in the mountains with Gri'Tai. He could sense everything happening within the cave. The sound of the fire flickering in the firepit, the smell of burnt wood combined with that of earth, the feeling of the fur rug on his hands as his finger sank into it, his own steady heartbeat followed by slow, steady breaths; it was all a part of him. Without warning, something appeared in the cave that was out of place. He opened his eyes and turned to face the disturbance.

At the mouth of the cave and coming closer was a shadowed figure; the flickering flames of the fire unable to illuminate any details. Then a freezing wind rushed in from behind the figure toward him, blowing out the flames in the pit. He suddenly felt as though his eyes were being pushed out from inside his skull, the pain was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before. Just when he thought he could take no more, a soothing warmth quickly coursed through his body and begin to push back the pain.

This soothing warmth came from behind and he slowly turned to see what it was. A figure engulfed in white light, their features muted by the brightness, stepped toward him. He felt a battle waging around and through him; the source of this battle being the figures standing both in front and behind.

Nyd woke with the feeling of needles coursing throughout his body, causing his body to spasm violently for a few agonizingly long seconds. When the feeling subsided, he immediately sat up. His vision was blurry but cleared after a few moments. He took several deep breaths and tried to calm down but couldn't. The dream felt so real and he could still feel the echo of the pain. He tried to shake it all off and pack up his gear and take down his tent. He accomplished the packing up but still couldn't calm down and what made it worse was that he didn't know why.

With everything packed up, Nyd quickly made his way to the Baths where he changed and headed straight for the steam rooms. He looked for and found one that was vacant and entered. He thought that if nothing else, perhaps he could calm down in the steam room.

Nyd assumed his comfortable posture of sitting with his legs crossed, feet tucked inward, and arms at his sides. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. Slowly he breathed in the steamy air, letting it out just as slow. He repeated this over and over and tried to focus on the beating of his own heart and the its calming rhythm. After what seemed like forever, Nyd finally began to calm down as his heart beat slower and his breath came more easily.

He then tried to think about the dream and what had happened. He focused on the feelings and thoughts that he had during the dream. It was like swimming through muddy water at first but Nyd tried to remain calm and continue to focus on the dream. He slowly felt it coming back to him. He remembered the entrance of the dark figure and the feelings that followed. Even in the heat of the steam room, he felt cold. The shape of the figure began to take a more definite form the more he tried to remember. It was a hulking form, very muscular, its arms hanging a bit lower than a human. Its slightly sloped forehead and porcine snout became clear. It was an orc, the model orc in all its brutish evil and hatred.

Nyd turned his focus to the figure of light and tried to remember more details. Unfortunately he had been in the steam room much longer than he realized and the heat began to blur his vision. He broke himself from meditation and found that he was completely drenched in sweat, his entire body sticking to itself. Although he was initially amazed at that he was able to recall such detail in the dream, the heat and his thirst was almost unbearable as he had been in the steamroom for over a candlemark. He hadn't realized it had been so long. The steam had died down yet the heat hadn't. Quickly he staggered from the room and went to find water to drink.

After gulping down quite a bit of water, Nyd left the Baths rather confused. He decided to take a walk in the Garden to try and break down the dream more and understand why he was feeling the way he was.

[Nydardomond]

Late Morning, 45th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

With each passing day Nyd found himself looking more and more to his meditation not only as a way to calm himself but also to focus his thoughts. He looked forward to each new day and each meditative session. Now more than ever, he began to realize his reliance on these sessions. With the latest dream and the disturbing thoughts and feelings that followed, Nyd knew that only through meditation would he be able to understand what was happening to him.

The first conclusion he came to on his way to the gardens from the baths was that his dream obviously manifested the conflicting nature of his existence. He was half-human and half-orc. One side was born of rage, hatred, and evil while the other had the capacity to choose the direction they would take to meet their destiny. During his meditation at the baths, he was able to remember more of the dream and the fact that one of the battling figures was an orc supported his belief that it was all just a manifestation of the battle going on inside him. The thing that did not quite fit was the figure of light. For a human to be symbolized in his own mind as a being of purity and light was foreign to him as he had met very few humans who would come close to that symbol.

This left him with another thought as he passed through the entrance into the gardens. Lately he had begun to think more and more of the divine and how they influenced the living but more specifically how they influenced him and his own life. He thought maybe the dream was a manifestation of a battle between the gods of good and evil over who would shape his destiny. In the dream, the orc may have represented the gods of evil while the figure of light represented the gods of good. As he thought about this he made his way to one of the more secluded pools of water in the garden. He had never seen the pool before and attributed it to just not having paid much attention. The pool however was dominated by a rather plain looking statue of a frail old man looking at an hourglass held in one hand. Nyd felt that the pool would be a good place to sit down and meditate once again on the dream.

He sat at the edge of the pool with his legs crossed, feet tucked in close, and arms hanging at his sides; his hands dug into the grass. Nyd took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He focused his thoughts on the soft rustling of leaves on the surrounding trees. He breathed in and out, deeply and slowly and allowed his mind to clear itself of everything save for the dream. Moments went by and the dream rematerialized in the mind's eye. The pain of the battle returned to him yet it was muffled and much less distracting as before. He again saw the orcish figure at the cave entrance. He turned again toward the figure of light at the back of the cave. This time however, the figure of light became much more defined. In the place of the light was an frail old man. Nyd realized that the old man resembled the statue that he sat close to at the pool in the garden. He could not maintain concentration and the dream shattered and he opened his eyes.

Nyd's eyes darted to the statue of the old man only to find that it was a statue of a knight atop a horse. Nyd narrowed his eyes and shook his head. He knew he saw a statue of an old man holding an hourglass and then that same old man had materialized in the place of the figure of light in his dream. He knew there was some sort of symbolism there but wasn't sure what it all meant. Nyd rubbed his head and stood up. "What is happening to me?" He said quietly to himself, "Am I going crazy..." Nyd made his way through the garden and toward the exit; all the time wondering if he was losing his mind.

[Nydardomond]

Morning, 46th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

Nyd's morning routine became more and more rigid with each passing brightening. He found that the discipline required not only to begin the sessions of meditation, but also maintain a regular schedule was refreshing in a way. The short time since leaving the mountains had been unpredictable and unstable but now he was starting to find order in his life. The dream he had however was becoming a barrier to all of that.

This particular morning found Nyd still pondering over his dream as well as the events in the park and the details of his dream that began to surface. As with every morning, he awoke to the sounds of people entering and leaving Nexus Prime. Breaking out a travel ration, he took a few bites. He was becoming quite used to the dry, bland taste. He dressed and packed up his gear and tent then sat off for the city interior. His morning schedule consisted mainly of finding a relaxing place to begin his meditation. This usually took him to the public baths or city gardens. As he entered the city, it dawned on him how tired and weak he was feeling. Although he had been doing a lot of mental and spiritual searching, he had failed to keep his physical health up to the same level.

With that in mind, he decided he would try something different in his meditation that day not only to start getting back into physical shape but also to try and get his mind off of the dream for awhile. He walked through the cold, wet streets; the whole time trying to banish the negative thoughts about the people living there; thoughts that had been tickling his mind more and more each brightening.

Nyd arrived at the gardens and entered. The familiar smells of nature enveloped him and he strolled toward one of the more secluded pools that he enjoyed. He stopped at a small clearing in front of a statue of a man dressed in elaborately etched armor. Instead of assuming the sitting position he used for meditation, Nyd stood. He briefly remembered back to the morning exercises that Gri'Tai had him do when he was younger. The exercises had always been a good way for him to focus the aggression of youth. He hadn't done them for quite some time having felt he had grown out of them. It all came back to him though as he stood in front of the statue; his eyes closed.

With his eyes closed, he focused on his breathing. Each breathe was taken slowly and deeply. With each passing second, Nyd focused on the beating of his heart. After many moments of bringing his mind and breathing into focus, he began to move his legs. He stretched his arms out to his sides, one by one and then out in front of him. After simple arm stretches, Nyd started stretching his legs. He stretched all of the muscles he could think of in his legs and then combined it with his arms. The entire time he stretched, he kept the beating of his heart in mind; using it not only to time his movements, but also to block out the pain of stretching.

As he tried to meditate while exercising, he found it quite difficult and had to start over several times. Slowly he got into an easy rhythm and the frustration, anger, and negativity he had been feeling over his dream was channeled from his mind into his body. The adrenaline kicked in and his pace picked up. Although the pain was still there and threatened to break his concentration at every step, he fought through it and after over a candlemark of effort, ended his first physical meditation , exhausted yet satisfied. It was a wonderful change from the confusing and conflicting thoughts and feelings had been having.

After stretching out one last time and giving himself a few moments to cool down, Nyd gathered his gear and made his way toward the garden gates.

[Nydardomond]

Morning, 47th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

It had been a quiet night for Nyd. He hadn't had a dream that he remembered since the nightmare that had occupied his thoughts as of late. He was very sore after his exercises the previous day. He had found it rather difficult to keep mental focus and exercise at the same time and thus vowed to hold off on doing both at the same time until he was able to get a better hold on the mental aspect of meditation.

The morning found Nyd pretty much as any other morning. He awoke to the bustle of the caravans moving through the Markus District; the sound all too familiar after having spent a full cycle there. It was cold and the tent he called home was barely enough to keep the wind and moisture out. After getting dressed and taking a few bites from his travel rations, Nyd packed up his gear, took down his tent, and made his way into the city; his daily routine.

As he walked toward the gardens, his entire body ached. His lack of exercise and practice left him sore and in a foul mood. Realizing that he was going to have difficulty with his morning meditation, Nyd turned from the gardens and went for the public baths. Between the two locations, he had been able to better focus and progress through the beginning stages of his meditations. Arriving at the baths after a short, cold walk, Nyd entered the changing room and undressed. He grabbed a nearby towel and walked toward the steam rooms.

Nyd found an unoccupied steam room, hung his towel next to the door and entered. Stopping first to pour water on the hot stones, he made his way to one of the wooden benches to sit while thick steam filled the room. Folding his legs, tucking his feet inward and letting his arms hang at his sides with is hands resting on the bench, Nyd prepared to ender his meditation. He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath; the steam filling his lungs. He focused on his breaths, each one several seconds slow as he inhaled and just as slow when he exhaled. His foul mood and sore muscles made it more difficult to relax thus it took a bit longer to finally reach the point where he could clear his mind.

Instead of trying to remember and ponder the meaning of his dream or trying to focus his anger into something else, Nyd concentrated on completely clearing his mind of everything distracting; both positive and negative. The only thing he thought of was his breathing. For many moments he did this as the sweat poured freely and flowed in trails down his flesh. Slowly he began to feel more relaxed than he had ever felt before. His muscles loosened and each breath became more and more pleasant. Then, just as he was about to reach a state of complete calm and relaxation unlike anything he had felt before, he heard someone enter the room. His eyes flew open as he saw a couple men talking to each other as they opened the door and walked in. Nyd nodded at them as they entered and stood up. The men stopped talking as Nyd walked toward the door. They took a step to the side, still saying nothing to him as he left.

[Nydardomond]

Morning, 48th Brightening of Kalendryas, Winter, Era XIII (pf)

In addition to his daily meditations, Nyd had also been reading from Gri'Tai's journal. His good friend and mentor had recorded all that he had learned during the time he spent in the mountains. This added up to several years. The journal itself was easily a hundred pages with nearly that many more pages loose and slid inside. The handwriting was small and and several days worth of notes could be found on a single page. The book was bound with a plain leather cover.

It was from the journal that Nyd had learned of meditation and how Gri'Tai had used such techniques to rediscover who he was after having left civilization and relocating to the mountains. Although it had been difficult learning such things from a few pages of an old man's notes, Nyd felt as though he had made great progress. He had become troubled in recent days however by the dream of the two figures; one light, one dark, battling each other with Nyd the central focus of the conflict. He pondered the dream for days after but it wasn't until reading a certain passage in Gri'Tai's journal that he began to understand what the dream may be about.

In his journal, Gri'Tai wrote, "The journey toward the beginning stage of meditation is like being an explorer on the verge of discovery, only it isn't a new world or vast treasure, it's a whole new plane of thought. This is a very exciting time, but also one where strict discipline must be enforced. It is at the beginning stage that one learns the techniques of controlled breathing and controlled posture, as well as, a basic, easily broken meditative state. Also, the meditator gains a fuller feeling of self. This is referred to as being Awakened and is the first pillar of meditation. With this awakening, and much surface meditation, comes a heightened sense of self, allowing one to heighten his mental clarity by improving his memory."

Nyd was sitting on a bench in the city garden as he read this passage. He realized then that his dream and the feeling of conflict within him was him actually gaining a fuller feeling of self. He could feel the battle raging within him between the darkness of the orc and light of his human blood. He could feel some force overseeing that battle and realized that he did indeed have a greater purpose in life.

With this new realization, Nyd stood from the bench and went to sit in the grass nearby. He took his normal meditative stance with his legs folded, feet tucked in, his arms hanging at his sides with his hands resting on the ground. He closed his eyes and began taking deep controlled breaths. He focused on those breaths and cleared his mind of everything. After a few moments, his muscles began to relax and he felt his surroundings melt away. His mind began to recreate the dream that had disturb him so.

The massive figure of the orc stood at the entrance to the cave; a look of pure hatred twisted its brutish face. Where the figure of light had been now stood Nyd. He was dressed in long white robes, his eyes illuminating the room as pools of piercing white light. An fragile old man looked down upon the two combatants as they slowly approached each other.

The dream faded just as Nyd and the orc engaged in combat. Nyd opened his eyes and broke the meditation. He knew now at least one level of meaning to the dream. He was fully aware of the battle he fought internally with the darkness of his orcish blood. He could feel it pushing against him, stabbing at him, trying to break down his defenses so that it could conquer his very being. It was at that moment that Nyd made a silent vow to himself that he would continue to battle that side of him and learn new ways to distance himself from the brutish hatred and evil rage that he was born from.

Although still left with questions about himself and the dream, such as who was the old man and what did he symbolize, Nyd stood and gathered his things. He felt more confident than usual and much more relaxed. He took a short walk through the garden before heading back out into the city where the unexpected awaited.

[Shorty]

Right-o!
Basic Meditation Approved!
Good Job!