Markalin, Archon of the Sea [Draft 4/Final Draft]

[Ragman]

Markalin

Archon of the Sea

Alias’

• Archon of the Three Oceans and the Six Seas
• Bringer of Tsunamis and Storms
• The Oracle
• Commander of the Aethernian Navy- Imperial Navy
• The Protector– Eunesians
• The Sea Warrior – Pirates
• The Harvester – Fishermen
• Selenya'has – Thëlyri
• The Tempest King, Mwaar'oo'kk – Mer-people
• Archalion – Sirens

Alignment

• Good

Realm

• Aetheria

Abstract

Commander of the Supreme Aethernian Navy, Markalin is the Archon of the Seas, and Guardian of the Celestial Oceans, the brother of the Arch Archon Maj. Decreed by the King of Heavens to assume guardianship over the waters of Telath, he is an image that is widely respected by the seafaring Vagarans, the Island Cities of Eunesia, the Imperial Navy; and all who set their ships and boats into sea -- even the sea bandits worship him. The people of the Sea, the Thëlyri and Merfolk also pay tribute to him, though he is known by other names in their own tongues.

While Carmelya has the sole dominion over all of Nature -- from all the plains, mountains, and even the seas and oceans, Markalin exerts a more direct influence over the waters, and has been seen in recent times as the Guardian of the Seas as compared to the Nature Incarnate, taking a more significant role in directly involving matters of the seas and oceans while the Nature Incarnate holds dominion over all of the lands and their creatures.

Not a fully fledged God, but an Archon, Markalin assists his brother Maj in the keeping of the Exercitum, the force that binds the multiverse in place, specifically the Aqualis; without which the oceans will dry up and cease to exist completely.

Common Appearance[list][*]The Warrior – Markalin resembles in all lineaments a powerful man wielding a harpoon. He is often depicted in this manner as a Vagran man standing over a raging surf; or floating above it. A harpoon is set in his right hand, and with the conch shell on his left; which he blows like a trumpet to calm or raise the waves.It's sound is so terrible, that when loudly blown; it puts the creatures of the deep to flight, and causes the unjust and evil-doers to flee.

It is said that when he appears in this aspect, the seas swell and the waves rage powerfully, a display of his might and strength. His presence is believed to bless the sailors and navy fighting on his side of the good, and causes the unrighteous' vessels to sway and tip over because of the crashing waves.[*]The Fisherman – Markalin sometimes appears as a lone fisherman though often seen as a water warrior, but is also the benevolent provider who gifts his worshipers with a bountiful harvest and food; at the same time offering protection and shelter for the faithful. In this manifestation, he usually appears as an unusually young fisherman who is alone, and always seem to have an entire vessel full of catch.

In this form, he seems to warn the unsuspecting folk of storms and tempests approaching. He has also, in the past lead groups of fishermen to extraordinary fishing spots, leading them to several Cycles of bountiful harvest.[*]The Eye of the Storm – It is believed that Markalin also manifests as the eye of the raging tempest when out at sea. In this form, it shows the Markalin's manner of destroying the filth and impure. Many claim that the Archon's wrath usually symbolizes the debauchery of a certain locale which is being plummeted by storms in the form of divine punishment, and his choice of manifesting as the center of the storm shows this.


Organization of Religion

Markalin, being a minor Deity is usually not feature in orthodox Churches across the Medonian Continent, but is nonetheless worshiped and revered by a small group of people who hold him in extremely high regard, sometimes even more than the Pantheon themselves, an act frowned upon by the Church of Faith and their followers.

Almost all seafaring cultures pay tribute to the Archon, who they see as having considerable influence over a large portion of their daily routines. Fishermen, Sailors, Pirates, Vagarans, Thëlyri, Mer-people, Sirens, Sea nymphs and Islandic Settlers such as Eunesians Needless to say, the Patron Deity of the Imperial Navy and their armadas is the Archon himself who is the personification of a waterborne warrior. Markalin is also Patron of the Navy. More often than not, the senior chaplain to the fleet is a priest of Markalin.

The sea can be calm one moment and a raging tempest the next. Such is the way that Markalin is being portrayed -- a God who has little tolerance nor patience, and is easily provoked. He is also the patron of sea battles for the just and right causes, the vanquisher of evil from his Seas. This is a contradiction in itself, because sea rogues and pirates would claim the Archon as their Protector as well, but their actions are often less than desirable.

This is however explained in the manner in which these godless people would choose to submit themselves before Markalin and no other Gods and Deities, an act which appeases the Archon, who has granted safe seas and fair weathers on occasions to these undesirable characters.

Markalin's Sacred Symbols

• The Tri-Surf – Drawn by three lines arching over to represent a surf, the Surf is considered a direct symbol of Markalin's dominion. Drawing it symbolizes and recognizes the Archon as a protector and sovereign of the seas and oceans.
• The Silver Harpoon – The Silver Harpoon is the weapon wielded by the Sea Archon. Most sailors from the Navy, as well as sea faring warriors believe the sign brings them the fortitude and skills honed by the Archon and grant them strength and courage.
• The Conchshell– The Conchshell is used by Markalin to raise and lower the levels of the sea, as well as scare the evil and unrighteous away. The symbol represents the triumph of good over evil and the guardianship of Markalin providing safe passage across the waters.
• The Cormorant – A large sea bird often associated with deception and greed, the pirates and most sea bandits have taken this symbol as the symbol that Markalin bestowed upon them. The Cormorant is guised as a strong, powerful bird that fears little because of their massive size, and preys upon the nests of other birds that live by the coast, much like the pirates.

Rites, Oaths, and Rituals

Like many of Celestial beings, worship of Markalin varies in his varying aspects. Votive deposits are a primary way of appeasing the Archon, while consecrating the death in his name is also considered as a ritual amongst the seafaring people. For many sailors, it is customary to hold a feast in Markalin's name before setting sail, to gain the Archon's good fortune. In more elaborate gestures, domesticated animals such as cattle and horses are usually drowned and sacrificed under the presiding of a Priest in a more formalized manner of worship.

Votive offerings come in many shapes and sizes. Some would offer money, sea jewels such as pearls and the rare coral rocks while others would bring weapons and spears, usually one that has slain the enemy, for good fortune being grant by the Archon during the battle.

In Secyclion, parts of shipwrecked fleets are also brought before the Archon in dedication of the sailor's life, and allowing the Archon to guide them into Aethernia. Children from seafaring traditions are also dedicated to the Deity, and some would even serve as a temple faithful for a period of time in their life.

On most ships, it is not uncommon to find a cultist statue of the Archon, who is believed to be able to bless the vessel and allow the ship to sail through gentle winds and fine weather. Many, if not all ships are usually consecrated by a Markalin Priest, who are usually male.

Needless to say, sea warriors, from the City Militia of the Eunesian Isles, to the Imperial Navy; and even the pirates, would call upon Markalin's name just before engaging in battle, either to spur themselves psychologically; or even to seek the Archon's celestial blessings.

In the true aspect of a warrior, Markalin has no love for formalities. Prayers for help or praise come in all shapes and sizes, varying between individuals and circumstances.

• Ritual of Appeasement – One of the most elaborate of rituals in Markalian worship, the Ritual of Appeasement is conducted by sailors or merchants before a war or a long voyage. Domestic animals such as horses, cows and sheep drowned and sacrificed to Markalin beneath an altar constructed with elaborateness and witnessed and conducted by Priests and Knight Templars of the Sea Archon. Rocks and boulders are secured to the cages holding the animals as they are slowly lowered into the waters simulatenously with prayers. There are no set duration to the length of the Rituals, they can go for as long as a Cycle, or as short as a Brightening.
• The Consecration - Consecrating vessels to Markalin ensures safe passage as well as protection from the mercurial Archon. The ritual is relatively more subdued than the Ritual of Appeasement, with the newly constructed vessel blessed by the Priests of Markalin, and then emplacing of a cultish stature of Markalin on board the vessel, signifying the completion of the Ritual.
• The Passaging – Shipwrecked parts are brought to the a Temple of Markalin, and offered to the Archon in hope that the deceased will be lead to Aethernia under the light of Markalin, and rest in peace.
• Markalin's Plea – "Markalin! Tuvalo quela vas ta-sa!" translating into"Markalin, please show your mercy!" in the old Vagaran tongue is a plea uttered by the desperate caught in sea storms and tempests hoping for Markalin's leniency and mercy. If those caught in the storm were unjustly being punished, it is believed that divine intervention would cause the seas to instantly calm, though given the quick changing nature of the Archon, these pleas may or may not be answered.
• Markalin's Paean- "Markalin! Goria esu tavasola piva kesalu!" which translate into "Markalin! Lend us your strength!", is an incantation widely used by the warriors of the sea as a war cry, believed to be able to grant the crier Markalin's strength and fortitude, blessing them the ability to take down their enemy, even against overwhelming odds.

Holidays and Holy Sites

• Long Moon Darkening - A rare occurrence that happens every fifteen Eras or so, the Long Moon Darkening brings the moons closest to Telath, causing a sudden surge and rise of tides. Worshippers believe that this is the period of time when Markalin exerts the strongest influence over Telath. Most do not sail this Brightening, dedicating the Brightening instead to the Archon, and visting temples consecrated to him, as well as his holy sites around the Medonian Continent.
• Markalin's Lament – Celebrated at the last Brightening of Winter, worshipers and the faithful place flowers into the sea, mourning for the loss of Markalin's beloved, Daphne, who was sacrificed to a sea monster. The wise would not set sail this Brightening, for it is believed that the Archon's terrible mood this Brightening causes the seas to be rougher than the usual and to set out to the seas would be folly.
• Harvest Call – A festival that is generally unheard of in inland Cities, it started as a simple festival amongst the fishing communities that eventually gained prominence around port cities as well as islandic communities that has a significant amount of seafaring and fishing cultures. Sea water is being poured and splashed on everyone that Brightening, believed to have a cleansing effect, as well as showing gratitude to the Archon for protection in the past Era. This festival usually takes place at the end of the harvest season, before the long lull of Winter.
• Pa'lanta – A Secyclionian festival that draws hordes of visitors to the 'Red Island of Eunesia', Pa'lanta literally translates to 'Biggest Fish' in the Eunesian tongue. During this festival, the natives would spend the entire Brightening attempting to catch the biggest fish from the seas surrounding the island by only the use of their hands, and the one with the biggest catch would dedicate it to the Archon in the Temple. The man or woman is believed to be able to gain Markalin's favor for the entire Era, and as the Patron God of Secyclion, this is one of the grandest and most exciting festival on the Island. Pa'lanta usually takes place during the end of beginning of Summer when the warm water draws hordes of fishes to shallower waters, allowing them to be caught.
• Spring Dawning – Perhaps the festival most known to be related to Markalin in the Medonian Continent, people all over the continent would travel to the closest beach or port city and attempt to dip into the wintry seas for a swim. While many who take part in the festival do not observe the religious practices or believes behind the festival, it is still generally agreed upon that the Brightening is dedicated to Markalin whose dominion lies over the waters, and those jumping into the freezing waters are hoping for a heralding of bountiful times ahead of the Era. This festival takes place in the last Cycle of Winter before the dawning of Spring, and is also celebrated as New Years in Eunesia.
• Temple of Markalin, Secyclion – The Temple of Markalin in Neos Megalis of Secyclion is one of the largest religious sites dedicated for the Archon in the Medonian Continent. Many worshippers of Markalin visit this Temple every Era, seeking his blessings, or even repaying gratitudes for a blessed Era; or to even offer sacrifices.
• Hadrin Isles – The Hadrin Isles lies North of Chelseanna and is home to a quiet fishing community. It is believed that Markalin's conchshell which he trumpets through, is found on Hadrin Bay. The Isles is believed to be personally blessed by the Archon, for the seas are almost calm and steady, and the catch plentiful and more than abundant.

Tales and Myths

• The Tale of Daphne - Legends had it that there used to be an Island East of Trident Isles, a beautiful Island filled with abundant resources by the name of Brujeya. The island mothered a beautiful young woman by the name of Daphne, who was so beautiful that her presence alone could thrall the elements and came when she called, simply because she was so ravishing. To see her alone, was considered a blessing.
  
  The island however, was not without worries, for near the waters that surround Brujeya, there dwelt a massive serpentine sea monster centuries old, and very powerful by the name of Kukkachuk. Every decade or so, the giant monster would rise from the waters to demand living sacrifices to satiate it's hunger, so that it would not destroy the island.
  
  It came to be that Markalin himself, when he descended upon the Plane of Existence came upon Daphne and was besotted by her song, and courted and wooed her. He, however, did not impart the fact that he was an Archon to her, for he believed that such celestial knowledge were not meant for the minds of mortal men, and feared that she might desert him if she knew.
  
  In the very same Era of their blossoming romance, the great beast Kukkachuk awoke from it's slumber and demanded a sacrifice -- but not just any sacrifice. It wanted Daphne specifically. The sea monster had learned of Markalin's courtship with the maiden of haunting looks, and wanted to strike the Archon where it hurt; for not only the winds alone carry the whispers and secrets, but the sea also murmurs as it currents swell and crash within the oceans and seas.
  
  The islanders, who had been deeply afraid of the creature for centuries and generations, readily agreed to it's demands, chaining the young maiden to the cliffs where she awaited a certain doom. Kukkachuk came as it had foretold, and claimed Daphne as it's prize, swallowing her whole as it submerged back into the dark waters.
  
  Markalin, haled back to Telath, was devastated to learn that his beloved had been sacrificed to a monster. Enraged, he called upon Tasalyon, an ancient beast to tear at the foundations of Brujeya, sinking it to the bottom of the sea forever. There after, he journeyed deep into the ocean to battle the sea creature, striking a blow through the stomach of the creature and forcing it to regurgitate the body of Daphne as Markalin's rage reshaped the ocean floor, forming a prison in which Kukkachuk is to be condemned for eternity.
  
  As Markalin cradled Daphne's body to himself, he began to cry, and from his tears sprung forth the six stone guardians to forever stand sentinel over Kukkachuk's prison, preventing it's escape and to harass the surface dwellers from thereafter.

Minions and Relatives

• Maj – Maj is the Arch Archon, the captain of the Archonic Phalanx that defends Aetheria and is destined to one day march into the infernal depths of Aeternia and put an end to chaos in perpetuity. Maj is the keeper of the Exercitum together with Markalin, the 'force' that binds together the multiverse, and is regularly portrayed fully clad in Celestine Armor, wielding a shimmering blue weapon. He is also the elder brother of the Archon Markalin. However, unlike Maj who is revered by swordsmen and land based fighters, sailors, seamen and navymen worship the Archon to grant them strength and fortitude during their sea battles. As a warrior, Markalin is not the classical honor bound fighter, instead will use all means to take down his opponents, unscrupulous almost, to an extent.
• Tasalyon – The Tasalyon is a mythical underwater beast which is as large as a whale, with long, wickedly curved tusks emerging from the sides of it's lips which can sink the toughest of ships. The Tasalyon is also known as the destroyer and ultimately the cleanser of the wicked, and serves Markalin in the manner by churning out deep sea tsunamis in an attempt to destroy the wicked and vile.
• Orchas – The cormorant that is perched on Markalin's shoulders. It's manifestation is believed to signal the coming of storms and bad weather, and serves as a warning to all about an impending sea disaster.
• The Stone Guardians – The six unnamed stone guardians seemingly created from Markalin's tears as he wept over the body of Daphne, his mortal lover. The six guardians guard and protect the underwater prison of Kukkachuk, the monstrous sea creature who killed Markalin's lover Daphne. They are made entirely out of stone, and are extremely resilient to both physical and arcanic attacks on their forms.
• The Order of Markalin - Sea-faring warriors who worship Markalin and the keeper of the rites and rituals of Markalin. Priests of the Order also perform ceremonies and consecrate vessels, as well as maintain the Temples as well as Holy sites of Markalin. They are found all over the continent, but have the strongest presence in Eunesia.

Champions and Notables

• Arygas Theodrakis – The current leader of the Order of Markalin, Arygas is based on Eunesia, where he conducts and directs the efforts of the Order throughout the Medonain Continent. It is believed he communes with the Archon directly and is privy to his wishes and demands. He is an Ieffreon native who is in his fifties, and is commonly agreed as the spiritual voice of the Nesocratic Federation.
• Daphne - The deceased lover of Markalin, consumed by the giant beast Kukkachuk. From the legends, she is one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked Telath.
• Autolf Sjöman - Markalin's second in command is the ascended mortal sailor by the name of Autolf Sjöman, the first Commander of the Aelyrian Imperial Navy. It was believed that when he was mortal, he was one of Markalin's favorite avatar, having been blessed by the Archon's good fortune and blessings. He is now the Rear Admiral of the Aethernian Navy, second only to Markalin.
• Gehenna Stamos – The protector of Hadrin Isles, Gehenna is an avatar of Markalin who is believed to possess the ability to make the seas rage and waves churn, preventing anyone with ill intent to dock on the Isles where Markalin himself have walked so long ago. He was believed to be Demoisian before receiving an epiphany from the Archon himself to set out to protect the Holy Site consecrated to Markalin himself.

Bases of Power

Markalin has bases throughout the continent, though there are specific areas where his influences are the strongest. The Nesocractic Federation of Eunesia is one of the few places within the continent where he is most revered and worshiped, with other smaller outlying islands which are unmarked and uncharted territories. He is also worshiped as the Patron deity amongst the sailors and seamen of the Imperial Navy, who views him as the paragon of a warrior of the sea. Even pirates and buccaneers worship him, bringing his oracle and knowledge wherever they go.

Important Artifacts

• The Shell of Hadrin – The conchshell that Markalin uses to rise and lower the tides, believed to have been picked up from the Bay of Hadrin where Markalin had once walked. The shell's trumpet was so strong and loud that it is rumored that it causes the evil to tremble at the sound and flee before battle.
• The Silver Harpoon – The Silver Harpoon is wielded as a weapon by Markalin, created by the Merfolk who tapped into the essence of the moons to bless it with unnatural attributes. The Harpoon is believed to be still impaled upon the sea beast Kukkachuk, preventing it's recovery and thus escape from it's watery prison.
• Pearl of Wisdom – The Pearl was given to Markalin by the Queen of Oysters who mothered the pearl for ten thousand Eras, granting him the immense knowledge of the deep seas, which have always been portrayed as a wealth of unattainable wisdom. There are many oracles around the continent who claims to house this relic, but the validity of the claim becomes an important issue at hand here.
• Anchor of Markalin – The anchor of Markalin is not in any means shaped like the common anchor, but is instead an orb crafted by the celestial energies of Markalin to protect and anchor the Aqualis, which forms part of the Exercitum that sets the multiverse in place.

[Ragman]

• Mainly fixed Empire/Kingdom reference -- changed to Medonian continent/continent.
• Removed double posting of Daphne
• Changed Silver Harpoon to Gold
• Added slight bit on Carmelya and Markalin's interaction.

[Nimh]

Commander of the Supreme Aethernian Navy, Markalin is the Archon of the Seas, and Guardian of the Celestial Oceans, the brother of the Arch Archon Maj.

I would move "and" after Guardian of the Celestial Oceans and before the brother of the Arch...

he is an image that is widely respected by the seafaring Vagarans, the Island Cities of Eunesia, the Imperial Navy; and all who set their ships and boats into sea

Replace the semi-colon with a comma

The people of the Sea, the Thëlyri and Merfolk also pay tribute to him, though he is known by other names in their own tongues.

When you say "people of the Sea" are you defining those people as the thelyri and the merfolk? If so, add a comma after merfolk. If not, then it just reads kinda awkwardly

Common Appearance

• The Warrior – Markalin resembles in all lineaments a powerful man wielding a harpoon. He is often depicted in this manner as a Vagran man standing over a raging surf; or floating above it. A harpoon is set in his right hand, and with the conch shell on his left; which he blows like a trumpet to calm or raise the waves.It's sound is so terrible, that when loudly blown; it puts the creatures of the deep to flight, and causes the unjust and evil-doers to flee.

• You are missing the

tag after the Common Appearance section

He is often depicted in this manner as a Vagran man standing over a raging surf; or floating above it. A harpoon is set in his right hand, and with the conch shell on his left; which he blows like a trumpet to calm or raise the waves.It's sound is so terrible, that when loudly blown; it puts the creatures of the deep to flight, and causes the unjust and evil-doers to flee.

You should refrain from using semi-colons, 'cause I don't think you understand how to use them

Vagran = Vagaran

Get rid of the semi-colon in the first sentence.

Get rid of the comma after "his right hand".

Change the semi-colon after conch shell on his left with a comma.

It's = Its

Get rid of the semi-colon after loudly blown

No comma after deep to flight

[*]The Fisherman – Markalin sometimes appears as a lone fisherman though often seen as a water warrior, but is also the benevolent provider who gifts his worshipers with a bountiful harvest and food; at the same time offering protection and shelter for the faithful. In this manifestation, he usually appears as an unusually young fisherman who is alone, and always seem to have an entire vessel full of catch.

In this form, he seems to warn the unsuspecting folk of storms and tempests approaching. He has also, in the past lead groups of fishermen to extraordinary fishing spots, leading them to several Cycles of bountiful harvest.

Change the semi-colon to a comma

Get rid of the comma after who is alone

Add a comma after in the past

lead=led

lowercase Cycles

The Eye of the Storm – It is believed that Markalin also manifests as the eye of the raging tempest when out at sea. In this form, it shows the Markalin's manner of destroying the filth and impure. Many claim that the Archon's wrath usually symbolizes the debauchery of a certain locale which is being plummeted by storms in the form of divine punishment, and his choice of manifesting as the center of the storm shows this.

"the Markalin's" should be Markalin's

Markalin, being a minor Deity is usually not feature in orthodox Churches across the Medonian Continent, but is nonetheless worshiped and revered by a small group of people who hold him in extremely high regard, sometimes even more than the Pantheon themselves, an act frowned upon by the Church of Faith and their followers.

Add a comma after minor deity

Lowercase deity

not feature should be not featured

lowercase churches

Almost all seafaring cultures pay tribute to the Archon, who they see as having considerable influence over a large portion of their daily routines. Fishermen, Sailors, Pirates, Vagarans, Thëlyri, Mer-people, Sirens, Sea nymphs and Islandic Settlers such as Eunesians Needless to say, the Patron Deity of the Imperial Navy and their armadas is the Archon himself who is the personification of a waterborne warrior. Markalin is also Patron of the Navy. More often than not, the senior chaplain to the fleet is a priest of Markalin.

Check the second sentence. It doesn't go anywhere. It just kind of bleeds into the next sentence. I would get rid of the whole "Fisherman..." sentence up until "Eunesians." Or, if you want to keep it, fix the sentence so that it's a sentence and lowercase every single word in that sentence except for Fishermen and Eunesians.

lowercase patron deity

Patron of the Navy should also be lowercased - even navy!

The sea can be calm one moment and a raging tempest the next. Such is the way that Markalin is being portrayed -- a God who has little tolerance nor patience, and is easily provoked. He is also the patron of sea battles for the just and right causes, the vanquisher of evil from his Seas. This is a contradiction in itself, because sea rogues and pirates would claim the Archon as their Protector as well, but their actions are often less than desirable.

This is however explained in the manner in which these godless people would choose to submit themselves before Markalin and no other Gods and Deities, an act which appeases the Archon, who has granted safe seas and fair weathers on occasions to these undesirable characters.

"Markalin is being portrayed" should be "Markalin is portrayed"

lowercase protector

Lowercase Gods and Deities

The Silver Harpoon – The Silver Harpoon is the weapon wielded by the Sea Archon. Most sailors from the Navy, as well as sea faring warriors believe the sign brings them the fortitude and skills honed by the Archon and grant them strength and courage.

Lowercase navy

sea faring = seafaring

The Conchshell– The Conchshell is used by Markalin to raise and lower the levels of the sea, as well as scare the evil and unrighteous away. The symbol represents the triumph of good over evil and the guardianship of Markalin providing safe passage across the waters.

Conch Shell is two words, not one

Votive offerings come in many shapes and sizes. Some would offer money, sea jewels such as pearls and the rare coral rocks while others would bring weapons and spears, usually one that has slain the enemy, for good fortune being grant by the Archon during the battle.

Add a comma after coral rocks

"the rare coral rocks" should be "rare coral"

"for good fortune being grant by the Archon during the battle" just reads awkwardly... Maybe..."for good fortune granted during the battle." You don't really need to say from the Archon, since we know who you're talking about

In Secyclion, parts of shipwrecked fleets are also brought before the Archon in dedication of the sailor's life, and allowing the Archon to guide them into Aethernia. Children from seafaring traditions are also dedicated to the Deity, and some would even serve as a temple faithful for a period of time in their life.

No comma after Secyclion

sailor's life = sailors' lives

That sentence (the first one) does read awkwardly, particularly the second half of it.

"In Secyclion parts of shipwrecked fleets are also brought before the Archon in dedication of the sailors' lives so that Markalin might guide them into Aetheria." (maybe??)

No comma after to the deity

Lowercase deity

On most ships, it is not uncommon to find a cultist statue of the Archon, who is believed to be able to bless the vessel and allow the ship to sail through gentle winds and fine weather. Many, if not all ships are usually consecrated by a Markalin Priest, who are usually male.

Add a comma after if not all ships

Needless to say, sea warriors, from the City Militia of the Eunesian Isles, to the Imperial Navy; and even the pirates, would call upon Markalin's name just before engaging in battle, either to spur themselves psychologically; or even to seek the Archon's celestial blessings.

No comma after Eunesian Isles

Get rid of the semi-colon after Imperial Navy

Get rid of the semi-colon after pyschologically - which is also not a word

Change your psycho word to mentally

Ritual of Appeasement – One of the most elaborate of rituals in Markalian worship, the Ritual of Appeasement is conducted by sailors or merchants before a war or a long voyage. Domestic animals such as horses, cows and sheep drowned and sacrificed to Markalin beneath an altar constructed with elaborateness and witnessed and conducted by Priests and Knight Templars of the Sea Archon. Rocks and boulders are secured to the cages holding the animals as they are slowly lowered into the waters simulatenously with prayers. There are no set duration to the length of the Rituals, they can go for as long as a Cycle, or as short as a Brightening.

"Domestic animals such as horses, cows and sheep drowned..." add 'are' after sheep

change "an altar constructed with elaborateness" to "an elaborate altar"

get rid of the comma after "length of the rituals" and add an 'and' after rituals

Lowercase rituals, cycle and brightening in that last sentence

The Consecration - Consecrating vessels to Markalin ensures safe passage as well as protection from the mercurial Archon. The ritual is relatively more subdued than the Ritual of Appeasement, with the newly constructed vessel blessed by the Priests of Markalin, and then emplacing of a cultish stature of Markalin on board the vessel, signifying the completion of the Ritual.

No comma after Priests of Markalin

Stature = Statue

Emplacing is not a word... Change that part of the sentence to...

"and a cultish statue of Markalin placed on board the vessel..."

The Passaging – Shipwrecked parts are brought to the a Temple of Markalin, and offered to the Archon in hope that the deceased will be lead to Aethernia under the light of Markalin, and rest in peace.

No comma after Temple of Markalin

Change the comma after light of Markalin to a period.

Change "and rest in peace" to "It is believed that this ritual will allow lost sailors to rest in peace."

Markalin's Plea – "Markalin! Tuvalo quela vas ta-sa!" translating into"Markalin, please show your mercy!" in the old Vagaran tongue is a plea uttered by the desperate caught in sea storms and tempests hoping for Markalin's leniency and mercy. If those caught in the storm were unjustly being punished, it is believed that divine intervention would cause the seas to instantly calm, though given the quick changing nature of the Archon, these pleas may or may not be answered.

Add a space after "translating into"

Add a comma after sea storms and tempests

No comma after nature of the Archon

Markalin's Paean- "Markalin! Goria esu tavasola piva kesalu!" which translate into "Markalin! Lend us your strength!", is an incantation widely used by the warriors of the sea as a war cry, believed to be able to grant the crier Markalin's strength and fortitude, blessing them the ability to take down their enemy, even against overwhelming odds.

Add a space after "Markalin's Paean

which translate should be which translates

Change the comma after war cry to a period.

Change what comes after that to... "It is believed that this will grant the crier Markalin's strength and fortitude.."

Add "with" after blessing them ("blessing them with the ability to take down...")






----

I have to get ready for work so that's all I had time to look at! I'll get to the rest later So far, so good! Just some grammatical changes. I think, once we get the grammar fixed up, this will be good to go forward for final evaluation

[Ragman]

Thanks Lauren. *dryhuuuuumps*

[Nimh]

* Long Moon Darkening - A rare occurrence that happens every fifteen Eras or so, the Long Moon Darkening brings the moons closest to Telath, causing a sudden surge and rise of tides. Worshippers believe that this is the period of time when Markalin exerts the strongest influence over Telath. Most do not sail this Brightening, dedicating the Brightening instead to the Archon, and visting temples consecrated to him, as well as his holy sites around the Medonian Continent.

Lowercase eras

lowercase brightening

no comma after instead to the Archon

While worshippers can be spelt that way, you've been using the single p version throughout the article, so change worshippers to worshipers

* Markalin's Lament – Celebrated at the last Brightening of Winter, worshipers and the faithful place flowers into the sea, mourning for the loss of Markalin's beloved, Daphne, who was sacrificed to a sea monster. The wise would not set sail this Brightening, for it is believed that the Archon's terrible mood this Brightening causes the seas to be rougher than the usual and to set out to the seas would be folly.

Lowercase brightening (throughout this paragraph) and winter

no comma after Markalin's beloved

"and to set out to the seas" -> change to "and to set sail"

* Harvest Call – A festival that is generally unheard of in inland Cities, it started as a simple festival amongst the fishing communities that eventually gained prominence around port cities as well as islandic communities that has a significant amount of seafaring and fishing cultures. Sea water is being poured and splashed on everyone that Brightening, believed to have a cleansing effect, as well as showing gratitude to the Archon for protection in the past Era. This festival usually takes place at the end of the harvest season, before the long lull of Winter.

Lowercase cities

amongst=among

"port cities as well as islandic communities that has a significant amount of seafaring and fishing cultures" I would change that whole part of the sentence to...

"port cities and island communities with a strong seafaring culture."

Lowercase brightening and era

"Sea water is being poured" = "Sea water is poured"

no comma after harvest season

Lowercase winter

* Pa'lanta – A Secyclionian festival that draws hordes of visitors to the 'Red Island of Eunesia', Pa'lanta literally translates to 'Biggest Fish' in the Eunesian tongue. During this festival, the natives would spend the entire Brightening attempting to catch the biggest fish from the seas surrounding the island by only the use of their hands, and the one with the biggest catch would dedicate it to the Archon in the Temple. The man or woman is believed to be able to gain Markalin's favor for the entire Era, and as the Patron God of Secyclion, this is one of the grandest and most exciting festival on the Island. Pa'lanta usually takes place during the end of beginning of Summer when the warm water draws hordes of fishes to shallower waters, allowing them to be caught.

no apostrophes around Red Island of Eunesia

"the natives would spend" = "the natives spend"

lowercase brightening and era throughout

lowercase summer

"by only the use of their hands, and the one with the biggest catch would dedicate it to the Archon in the Temple. The man or woman is believed to be able to gain Markalin's favor for the entire Era, and as the Patron God of Secyclion, this is one of the grandest and most exciting festival on the Island." = "using only their hands. The biggest catch of the festival is dedicated to the Archon in the temple and the man or woman who caught the fish is believed to be able to gain Markalin's favor for the entire era. Since Markalin is the patron god of Secyclion, this festival is one of the grandest and most exciting affairs on the island." (note: lowercased temple and patron god as well)

"Pa'lanta usually takes place during the end of beginning of Summer" --->>> Whaat? End of beginning of...? Pick end of or beginning of

fishes = fish

* Spring Dawning – Perhaps the festival most known to be related to Markalin in the Medonian Continent, people all over the continent would travel to the closest beach or port city and attempt to dip into the wintry seas for a swim. While many who take part in the festival do not observe the religious practices or believes behind the festival, it is still generally agreed upon that the Brightening is dedicated to Markalin whose dominion lies over the waters, and those jumping into the freezing waters are hoping for a heralding of bountiful times ahead of the Era. This festival takes place in the last Cycle of Winter before the dawning of Spring, and is also celebrated as New Years in Eunesia.

"people all over the continent would travel" -> "people from all over travel"

I would get rid of "in the Medonian Continent" entirely here...it's just an unnecessary extra

Lowercase brightening and era

No comma after lies over the waters

Lowercase cycle and winter and spring

"is also celebrated as New Years" = "is also celebrated as the start of a new era"

* Temple of Markalin, Secyclion – The Temple of Markalin in Neos Megalis of Secyclion is one of the largest religious sites dedicated for the Archon in the Medonian Continent. Many worshippers of Markalin visit this Temple every Era, seeking his blessings, or even repaying gratitudes for a blessed Era; or to even offer sacrifices.

"in the Medonian Continent" should be "on the Medonian Continent"

lowercase temple in "visit this temple" and era (throughout the paragraph)

No comma after seeking his blessings

get rid of the "or" after "seeking his blessings"

Get rid of the semi-colon after blessed era

* Hadrin Isles – The Hadrin Isles lies North of Chelseanna and is home to a quiet fishing community. It is believed that Markalin's conchshell which he trumpets through, is found on Hadrin Bay. The Isles is believed to be personally blessed by the Archon, for the seas are almost calm and steady, and the catch plentiful and more than abundant.

"The Hadrin Isles lies" = The Hadrin Isles are

"is home to a" = are home to a

conchshell is two words

Add a comma after conch shell

on Hadrin Bay or in Hadrin Bay?

The Isles is = The Isles are

no comma after the Archon or after calm and steady

Get rid of "plentiful and"

The Tale of Daphne - Legends had it that there used to be an Island East of Trident Isles, a beautiful Island filled with abundant resources by the name of Brujeya. The island mothered a beautiful young woman by the name of Daphne, who was so beautiful that her presence alone could thrall the elements and came when she called, simply because she was so ravishing. To see her alone, was considered a blessing.

Get rid of the[list] formatting around this section - no reason for it to be there. If you want it indented, use the indent code

I recommend bolding "The Tale of Daphne"

"Legends had it" -> Legends have it (Or you can do "Legend has it")

Lowercase east

"could thrall the elements" = "could enthrall the elements"

"To see her alone" -> "Merely to see her"

Get rid of the comma in that last sentence

The island however, was not without worries, for near the waters that surround Brujeya, there dwelt a massive serpentine sea monster centuries old, and very powerful by the name of Kukkachuk. Every decade or so, the giant monster would rise from the waters to demand living sacrifices to satiate it's hunger, so that it would not destroy the island.

Add a comma after The island

surround=surrounded

no comma after Brujeya

no comma after centuries old

it's=its

no comma after hunger

It came to be that Markalin himself, when he descended upon the Plane of Existence came upon Daphne and was besotted by her song, and courted and wooed her. He, however, did not impart the fact that he was an Archon to her, for he believed that such celestial knowledge were not meant for the minds of mortal men, and feared that she might desert him if she knew.

Get rid of himself

add a comma after Existence

were not = was not

In the very same Era of their blossoming romance, the great beast Kukkachuk awoke from it's slumber and demanded a sacrifice -- but not just any sacrifice. It wanted Daphne specifically. The sea monster had learned of Markalin's courtship with the maiden of haunting looks, and wanted to strike the Archon where it hurt; for not only the winds alone carry the whispers and secrets, but the sea also murmurs as it currents swell and crash within the oceans and seas.

Lowercase era

it's=its (idle note: it's = it is; its denotes possession )
no comma after haunting looks

I don't understand the last part of that sentence. Even taking out the semi-colon has me ??? :\ It's just kind of flowery, I guess, but just doesn't work with the first half of the sentence.

The islanders, who had been deeply afraid of the creature for centuries and generations, readily agreed to it's demands, chaining the young maiden to the cliffs where she awaited a certain doom. Kukkachuk came as it had foretold, and claimed Daphne as it's prize, swallowing her whole as it submerged back into the dark waters.

it's=its

no comma after foretold

it's=its

Markalin, haled back to Telath, was devastated to learn that his beloved had been sacrificed to a monster. Enraged, he called upon Tasalyon, an ancient beast to tear at the foundations of Brujeya, sinking it to the bottom of the sea forever. There after, he journeyed deep into the ocean to battle the sea creature, striking a blow through the stomach of the creature and forcing it to regurgitate the body of Daphne as Markalin's rage reshaped the ocean floor, forming a prison in which Kukkachuk is to be condemned for eternity.

haled back to Telath?? again, not sure what you're saying. If you're trying to say he was dragged back, say dragged--haled just sounds funky.

Add a comma after ancient beast

"There after, he journeyed"--> Thereafter Markalin journeyed (saying he right after ancient beast gets the two confused; there after is one word; no comma)

"in which Kukkachuk is to be condemned for eternity." -> "in which to imprison Kukkachuk for eternity." (the switch in tense with "is" is awkward)

As Markalin cradled Daphne's body to himself, he began to cry, and from his tears sprung forth the six stone guardians to forever stand sentinel over Kukkachuk's prison, preventing it's escape and to harass the surface dwellers from thereafter.

"sprung forth the six stone guardians to forever stand sentinel over" -> "sprung forth the forms of six stone guardians, charged to stand as sentinels over"

it's=its

In the last part of that sentence, do you mean to say the stone guardians were charged to harass the surface dwellers or that they were there to keep Kukkachuk from harassing the surface dwellers?

If you mean the guardians, add a comma after its escape

If you mean Kukkachuk, that part of the sentence needs reworked: "and the harassment of the surface dwellers from thereafter."


------
Still have the last 4 sections to do

[Nimh]

Maj – Maj is the Arch Archon, the captain of the Archonic Phalanx that defends Aetheria and is destined to one day march into the infernal depths of Aeternia and put an end to chaos in perpetuity. Maj is the keeper of the Exercitum together with Markalin, the 'force' that binds together the multiverse, and is regularly portrayed fully clad in Celestine Armor, wielding a shimmering blue weapon. He is also the elder brother of the Archon Markalin. However, unlike Maj who is revered by swordsmen and land based fighters, sailors, seamen and navymen worship the Archon to grant them strength and fortitude during their sea battles. As a warrior, Markalin is not the classical honor bound fighter, instead will use all means to take down his opponents, unscrupulous almost, to an extent.

"Maj is the keeper of the Exercitum together with Markalin, the 'force' that binds together the multiverse, and is regularly portrayed fully clad in Celestine Armor, wielding a shimmering blue weapon."

I would move "the 'force' that binds together the multiverse" to just after Exercitum, since Markalin is not the force that binds the multiverse and putting it after Markalin makes it sound that way

get rid of the comma after honor bound fighter and put an 'and' there instead

all means=any means

Get rid of "unscrupulous almost, to an extent."

Tasalyon – The Tasalyon is a mythical underwater beast which is as large as a whale, with long, wickedly curved tusks emerging from the sides of it's lips which can sink the toughest of ships. The Tasalyon is also known as the destroyer and ultimately the cleanser of the wicked, and serves Markalin in the manner by churning out deep sea tsunamis in an attempt to destroy the wicked and vile.

it's=its

Orchas – The cormorant that is perched on Markalin's shoulders. It's manifestation is believed to signal the coming of storms and bad weather, and serves as a warning to all about an impending sea disaster.

It's=Its

no comma after bad weather

The Stone Guardians – The six unnamed stone guardians seemingly created from Markalin's tears as he wept over the body of Daphne, his mortal lover. The six guardians guard and protect the underwater prison of Kukkachuk, the monstrous sea creature who killed Markalin's lover Daphne. They are made entirely out of stone, and are extremely resilient to both physical and arcanic attacks on their forms.

replace seemingly with rumored to be

"guardians guard" = "guardians police"

"Markalin's lover Daphne" = Daphne (you don't need to keep saying "Markalin's lover" as it gets redundant

no comma after out of stone

The Order of Markalin - Sea-faring warriors who worship Markalin and the keeper of the rites and rituals of Markalin. Priests of the Order also perform ceremonies and consecrate vessels, as well as maintain the Temples as well as Holy sites of Markalin. They are found all over the continent, but have the strongest presence in Eunesia.

Sea-faring = Seafaring

Lowercase temples and holy

Arygas Theodrakis – The current leader of the Order of Markalin, Arygas is based on Eunesia, where he conducts and directs the efforts of the Order throughout the Medonain Continent. It is believed he communes with the Archon directly and is privy to his wishes and demands. He is an Ieffreon native who is in his fifties, and is commonly agreed as the spiritual voice of the Nesocratic Federation.

"based on Eunesia" = "based out of Eunesia"

"throughout the Medonian Continent" = "throughout Aelyria" (I don't know why you went with Medonian Continent when it's just as easy to merely say "Aelyria"

No comma after fifties

"agreed as" = "agreed to be"

Autolf Sjöman - Markalin's second in command is the ascended mortal sailor by the name of Autolf Sjöman, the first Commander of the Aelyrian Imperial Navy. It was believed that when he was mortal, he was one of Markalin's favorite avatar, having been blessed by the Archon's good fortune and blessings. He is now the Rear Admiral of the Aethernian Navy, second only to Markalin.

"second in command" = "second-in-command"

"favorite avatar" = "favorite avatars"

Gehenna Stamos – The protector of Hadrin Isles, Gehenna is an avatar of Markalin who is believed to possess the ability to make the seas rage and waves churn, preventing anyone with ill intent to dock on the Isles where Markalin himself have walked so long ago. He was believed to be Demoisian before receiving an epiphany from the Archon himself to set out to protect the Holy Site consecrated to Markalin himself.

"where Markalin himself have walked" = "where Markalin himself walked"

Okay, I totally thought "Gehenna" was a woman...until the last sentence. The name is so weird for a guy, I dunno. Just a thing that bugs me (I know...says the person with the PC and NPC children that all have guy names )

Lowercase holy site

"consecrated to Markalin himself" = consecrated to Markalin

Markalin has bases throughout the continent, though there are specific areas where his influences are the strongest. The Nesocractic Federation of Eunesia is one of the few places within the continent where he is most revered and worshiped, with other smaller outlying islands which are unmarked and uncharted territories. He is also worshiped as the Patron deity amongst the sailors and seamen of the Imperial Navy, who views him as the paragon of a warrior of the sea. Even pirates and buccaneers worship him, bringing his oracle and knowledge wherever they go.

"throughout the continent" = "throughout Aelyria"

"though there are" = "although there are"

"are the strongest" = "are stronger"

"within the continent" = "within Aelyria"

lowercase patron

amongst=among

"who views him" = "who view him"

The Shell of Hadrin – The conchshell that Markalin uses to rise and lower the tides, believed to have been picked up from the Bay of Hadrin where Markalin had once walked. The shell's trumpet was so strong and loud that it is rumored that it causes the evil to tremble at the sound and flee before battle.

Conchshell is two words

The last sentence has two different tenses, making it flow awkwardly

"The shell's trumpy is rumored to be so strong and loud that it can cause evil to tremble at the sound and flee before battle." <-- suggested change

The Silver Harpoon – The Silver Harpoon is wielded as a weapon by Markalin, created by the Merfolk who tapped into the essence of the moons to bless it with unnatural attributes. The Harpoon is believed to be still impaled upon the sea beast Kukkachuk, preventing it's recovery and thus escape from it's watery prison.

lowercase merfolk

"believed to be still" = "believed to still be"

it's=its (two spots!)

Pearl of Wisdom – The Pearl was given to Markalin by the Queen of Oysters who mothered the pearl for ten thousand Eras, granting him the immense knowledge of the deep seas, which have always been portrayed as a wealth of unattainable wisdom. There are many oracles around the continent who claims to house this relic, but the validity of the claim becomes an important issue at hand here.

lowercase eras

"around the continent" = "around Aelyria"

"who claims" = "who claim"

Anchor of Markalin – The anchor of Markalin is not in any means shaped like the common anchor, but is instead an orb crafted by the celestial energies of Markalin to protect and anchor the Aqualis, which forms part of the Exercitum that sets the multiverse in place.

Uppercase Anchor (first mention)

[Ryan]

It seems that you have this well in hand and I'm really liking the write up. so much so that the Pirates of Terramarique have already started worshipping him after their fashion. I would suggest something, such as a special set of rules or code (not to sound too much like the movie) that the pirates are expected to adhere to. Sure it might be more lenient than Markalin's expectations from everyone else, but his retribution would be more swift against infractions as well. I made up a short list for a Markalin inspired series of adventures I'm running and if you would like to see it I can PM it to you but anyway that's my two cents. Other than that it looks good to me.

[Ragman]

Sounds cool, would love to see it. Can you give some examples of these 'codes'? Also any additions of festivals on Terra that I could add into the article?

[Nimh]

Well... I personally think that maybe the "Code" would be better suited to a religious faction order rather than the religion article. But that's me

[Ragman]

Good point. I'm willing to work with you on it though, Ryan!

[Ryan]

Either way works for me!

Here's the code I was discussing: Markalin's laws with respect to their [Pirates] conduct: Pirates aren't allowed to kill children or unarmed women (note I said kill not enslave, ransom, or any other atrocity; they are pirates after all), they are required to give an offering to Markalin before sailing and after each conquest, and lastly they are not allowed to flee from battle when their shipmates are still attacking.

[Daniel]

Is this ready to go, or do you desire to keep it open a bit more and get more comments on it? I see some grammar issues, such as the 'list' tag being off in Common Appearance section, but factually it appears to be well done and ready to go.

I would suggest a few embellishments, though. You only talk of Secylion. How does Tulos worship? Or Arios? Chelseanna? Ieffreon? Give it a bit more detail on Eunesian worship in general. Also Demios... I would think the aquatic part worships Markelin in some form or other.

Oh, that reminds me. Are there Merfolk, water elf or Lutran rituals for Markalin?

[Tonguez]

The Fisher folk of Trysvale when going to sea invoke Markalin in his 'Good Fisherman' guise and offer the first fish of their daily catch to him to ensure calm seas and abundance

Of course this 'Offering the First Fish' is not an organised practice but the traditions of an old Fishing village

[Ragman]

Hey Daniel, yep tried to incorporate... other aspects, I even PMed other Moderators who are modding in Cities linked to the ocean/sea, but eh, you know it's hard to get people to post stuff about.

As for Secyclion being mentioned more, it works in the case of Eunesia because Secyclion is generally accepted to be the spiritual hub of Eunesia, at any rate.

I just need to clean up the grammar suggestions and stuff and I think it's good to go. Tonguez, I'll include that bit in the write up.

[Ryan]

I can say for the Pirates of Terramarique's part they 'honor' Markalin in their own way. Since they do so in such a different way it was recommended that I do a separate write up for them as a type of cult, but if you want some particulars let me know.