(written earlier today)
Today I'm not blogging in the evening, but in the morning—or rather at lunch time (nearly 12 am now). That usually means that my thoughts are a lot more optimistic, and they really are.
For example I have already written a lot of posts for my characters and some necessary mod stuff. There's a particular location that has been sitting forever. I can't help it, sometimes I'm just plain lazy. Someone needs to kick me in the ass to get that going—thankfully someone has done that just two days ago.
However, these days I feel like creating a lot of new characters and retiring most of them after a few days or weeks of playing, because I realize that I don't want to play that sort of person. There's a lot of experimenting going on, trying out different ideas, copying a few ideas from other players, picking up old ideas etc. I hope I don't make the same mistakes again and again! But I'm trying to stick to two active characters at a time and working towards the retirement of the other two. Sometimes it's really hard to retire characters, because in the last second you have a new feeling, a new idea for them and suddenly want to continue with them. I have to resist that urge of continuing. I need to realize what sort of character is the most comfortable and fun to play and stick to them. And to be honest to myself with it! That's probably a thing I still have to learn.
As for my mod threads, nearly all of them are in a phase of stagnation now. Nobody seems to post, and if somebody
does post, somebody else needs to post before it's my turn again. I don't know whether I should be relieved or annoyed. I guess the latter though, because I'm moving on to another city soon and want to finish the old threads as quickly as possible. Another reason is that now I have fun with posting again, after a long period of … well, not having fun at all. Also, I see now why everyone says the cure for burnout is playing your PCs. They really help you to remember the fun aspect of the game. I love checking out different opportunities for them, threading with other players, broadening the PC's horizon.
I'm probably a bit slow with certain projects, but I want to do my best at everything. When I don't feel like writing this post or that location, I wait until I'm in the mood for it. Unfortunately there is the great disadvantage of forgetting about that project and letting it sit for weeks, months … Then I really need someone to remind me. In the best case I'm eager to work on that project again, and in the worst … I just write it, regardless of the outcome.
Possible that I'm thinking too much, but … I want to satisfy the expectations of fellow mods as well as players. I want to do my best. Sometimes I'm simply not able to do that and then I'm pissed about myself. But there will always be the chance of doing it better, after all.
![[AGM Office] Hearts made of glass ...](http://cdn.aelyria.com/forums/iconimages/enamoria-realmcraft/agm-office-hearts-made-glass_ltr.gif)
I promise promise promise it gets better! My last two years of high school were the better of the four years too. You'll be great. Don't worry about it!
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