Kemite Courtship

On Wedded Bliss
"Ah! So you wish to be wed? I must warn you that a Kemish marriage should not be taken lightly. Aslan wreaks swift justice upon those that dishonor his blessing, whether through sheer negligence or outright betrayal. That is why the era-long engagement period is requisite; to remain true to the pledge. It may save you patterns of misery, for a Kemish marriage cannot be dissolved, and like Aslan's Glory is itself Eternal." --Eayi Mehato, Priestess of Aslan.

Introduction

Although Kemites primarily worship Aslan, or Torek in their tongue, they look to Materna (Sa-adsaka in Kemish) and Carmelya (Sasaln) for matters of marriage and fertility. This document shall look at not only the marriage ceremony, but also practices and rituals regarding courtship and betrothal. There are two types of marriages recognized in Kemite society: marriages based on love or attraction, and betrothals or arranged marriages.

Courtship

Courtship is not allowed to begin until a Kemite of either gender reaches the age of sixteen patterns, and has begun his or her weapons or martial arts training. No formal sign of courtship is required, nor is it required to ask permission of the parents. After the courtship has begun, gifts are exchanged. Both the prospective bride and the groom receive gifts, usually in the form of a weapon or training. The Kemites are a militant people, and this shows in all aspects of their culture. Further, during courtship unlike in many cultures, intamacy is neither prohibited before marriage nor is it encouraged. It is simply left up to the individuals themselves.

Finally, a declaration of intent to wed is made when the couple exchange “engagement blades” which are tiny knives made to be worn on a chain around the neck. Though sharp, they are merely ornaments. An era-long engagement period follows, and is required. At the end of the engagement period, the wedding preparations begin.

Love-Based Marriage Ceremony

When the preparations for the matrimony have been finalized, the ceremony takes place. The setting is almost always outdoors, either in a field or meadow, forest, or on the beach. This is done to honor Carmelya, in hopes her blessing of fertility will fall upon the new marriage. It is important to remember that in Kemite society, the Clans are not entirely familial-based, and that intra-clan marriages are common. The entire Clan attends the wedding, or the entirety of both Clans if the marriage involves two Clans.

A priest or priestess of Aslan, Carmelya and Materna jointly officiate the services, which takes place at midnight and are lit only by the moon, stars, and the three candles that surround the bridal couple. The groom wears his armor and has his weapon of choice in a sheath at his waist or on his back, and his engagement knife. The bride wears a long, crimson silk gown and her engagement knife, but wears no other adornments. Her hair is worn loose.

The bridal couple arrives first, as one candle is lit by each of the three priests. Next to enter are the couple’s attendants, who are swordbearers. The two swordbearers (male on the groom’s side, and female on the bride’s side) make an arch with katanas over the couple. Last to arrive are the guests. When the entire clan has gathered, the priest of Aslan begins the ceremony, which is usually spoken in Kemish, unless one of the bridal couple is not a Kemite. An example of what the priest of Aslan would say follows:

“We the members of the Dragon Clan of the Kemites are here tonight to join these two people, Shana val Wiyall of the Dragon Clan, daughter of Yana val Wiyall and Mato val Wiyall, and Tilius Haroso of the Dragon Clan, son of Nasayl Haroso and Alaus Haroso. May Aslan protect this united couple and bring them strength in their matrimony.”

The priest of Aslan would then put out his or her candle by smothering it with the flat end of a sword. The priest of Carmelya follows. He or she would say:

“May Carmelya bless Shana val Wiyall of the Dragon Clan and Tilius Haroso of the Dragon Clan with child, so that they may perform the duty of all creatures to further their own kind, and show her approval of the mating.”

Then the priest of Carmelya would put out his or her candle by pouring water over it, and the priestess of Materna continues with her speech:

“Materna bless this union with a happy home for the couple and their children to come. May she bless the children of this mating with her own hand. Materna’s candle shall stay lit, as an honor to her and this new marriage.”

The third candle stays lit, and is not moved until it burns out on its own. The longer the candle stays lit, the more the bridal couple is thought to be blessed.

The three priests together say: “Do you, the bride agree to mate this man?”

The bride answers: “I do.”

The three priests would then turn to the groom and say: “Do you, the groom agree to mate this woman?”

The groom answers: “I do.”

More is not asked of the couple, because it is already implicit that the two would take care of each other, but also take care of themselves.

The three priests would then say: “We declare this couple wed.”

At that point, the newly married couple would hand over their engagement knives. The two blades are then dropped into the still-burning candle, and the couple leaves, free to spend the rest of the night with only each other. The rest of the Clan celebrates the new marriage until dawn. At dawn, the three priests present the newlyweds in front of the whole Clan. Then they are given matching tattoos near the left collarbone, which are made with each other’s engagement blade. The tattoo usually consists of a knife or sword and overlaid with a unique symbol assigned to the new marriage. The engagement blades are then given as a sacrament to Aslan, but the couple receives new knives that could be either worn on the belt or on a chain to replace them and as a reminder of their marriage, which is permanent.

Arranged Marriages

Kemites may only be betrothed during their first year of life. Parents might arrange marriages for the children for a number of reasons including financial and marital security for their child, a treaty between Clans or families, or a promise of betrothal in exchange for a loan of money, goods or services.

Unlike marriages based on mutual consent, arranged marriages are not permanent, but those betrothed must enter into the marriage, unless one party dies before the ceremony can take place. The marriage must last until the first child is born, or until another contractual obligation has been fulfilled, but may be desolved at that time.

When two children are betrothed, they are given tattoos on their left shoulder blade as a sign of the arrangement, usually of their betrothed’s helraldic symbol. The children are told of the marriage as soon as they are able to understand it, and the ceremony takes place on the younger child’s sixteenth birthday.

The ceremony for arranged marriages is much different than for love-based marriages. It takes place at noon instead of midnight, and only the couple’s family attends. The betrothed and their families meet at a temple of Aslan, and the services are only conducted by a priest of Aslan, though often a priest of Carmelya will attend to give a blessing of fertility. An example of what the priest of Aslan would say follows:

“We are here to affirm what has been known since the betrothed’s first year of life. Do you, Shana val Wiyall and Tilius Haroso agree to fulfill the contractual obligations of your betrothal?”

The bride and groom would then answer: “We do.”

There is no celebration, nor are there tattoos given to the newlyweds, as they were marked when the agreement was made. It is important to note that either party in an arranged marriage may enter in to a consentual marriage while still obligated in the arranged marriage, but then the arrangement with the first spouse may not be broken. This sometimes causes a complex four-person marriage, if both parties of the arranged marriage take on another spouse.