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The Tale of a Flail (Flail Fail?)

Posted June 9, 2016 at 07:08 PM by Barthelme
Updated June 9, 2016 at 07:30 PM by Barthelme ("Tale," not "Tail.":p)

In which we hear the tragic tale of a man who was granted a divine artifact and totally pissed it away!

This is Barthelme. He is pictured carrying The Needy Flail, which he acquired in this thread.

What is The Needy Flail, you ask? Mimesis described it as follows:

Next to the falchion lay a black, shiny flail. Remarkably, it looked as if it were new, though obviously that couldn't be the case.
The Needy Flail ~ black, shiny, and tries to follow you around like a legless puppy
"Huh," I said to myself. "Why is Mimesis giving me a flail? Barthelme doesn't even have any flail XP. Also he's a Mystic, not a warrior."

After much consideration, I decided... Oh well! It's all good!

Barthelme would go on to make use of the flail on a handful of occasions. He smacked around a few flaming skeletons in Arakmat.

He also bopped a few Sand Vipers shortly after that.

Much later, he would whomp on a chimaera-critter at the Lost Isle.

Also, one time Barthelme walloped a pirate with the weapon.

Finally, he used it to deliver the coup de grace to the traitor Twisted he was sent to assassinate aboard the Katara.

And that's how Barthelme used the all-powerful Flail of Haya!

The hilarious thing is, Barthelme had ample opportunities to realize what he was carrying around. First of all, I was very much aware of the old exposition thread in which Haya's artifact was initially described. This was a thread I had Barthelme cite way back when he was doing research to flesh out his understanding of the multiverse and justify his belief in Otherlings.

Granted, the artifact was originally called The Scourge of Haya. Still, it was described as follows.

Where there was once Logic and Reason, there was now a means of torture: a black flail dangled daintily in her grasp. This was the Scourge of Haya… A weapon of Reason no longer.
A black flail. Maybe that should have rang a bell, huh?

In my defense, that was still pretty obscure. But maybe I should have made the connection when Mimesis, who gave me the flail in the first place, popped in to a random open thread I had started, resulting in Barthelme having super-trippy visions and being told he has "no fate?"

"Whoa," I told myself at the time. "That's really interesting! I should definitely have Barthelme look into that one day."

But somehow I never really got around to it.

(Actually, I still hope to have Barthelme investigate those visions when he gets to the "future" part of his past/present/future themed Staff Quest).

Anyway, the kicker came in The Destroyers of Dreams, where the lamian Twisted called Barthelme the "Bearer of Divinity," and Ramoth Hettie asked him outright if he still had the flail. Again, I totally failed to make the connection between the two things.

But I did start to wonder if maybe, possibly, the Needy Flail was important after all. I began making vague plans to investigate the thing, maybe as part of a Basic Flail training thread, once I was done with some of the many other projects I wanted to do with Barthelme.

And then this happened. Turned out The Needy Flail was Haya's Flail all along, and it went on to possess Barthelme and help kill the Xet emperor and release the mysterious Old Gods and then disappear.

Again, this was the same weapon that Barthelme used sporadically to kill minor enemies, and which I would sometimes think about trying to sell or trade to another player. I even thought about starting a thread where Barthelme would take advantage of the weapon's (never seen in any thread) habit of following him by selling it repeatedly and waiting for it to come wandering back!

For nearly two years of real time Barthelme carried that thing, and mostly ignored it. Poor Haya must have been pulling her freaking hair out.

So, RIP Needy Flail (July 6, 2014-June 9, 2016)! And thanks to Mimesis, Jacob, and Maddyn for letting Barthelme become a part of Aelyrian history!

Also, let this be a lesson for any of you who have your PC carrying around strange items without knowing what they are. Get those things checked. Otherwise, you might never even know what you have until it's gone.
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  1. Old Comment
    lol hilarious! Great post!
    Posted June 10, 2016 at 12:13 PM by Arvos Aro Ancarri Arvos Aro Ancarri is offline
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