Ch. 1: In Which Phirkel finds a Bug.

[phirkel]

Evening of Brightening 1 of Optia
Era 1 of the Celestine Mandate

Phirkel was walking along in Dan's Domicilium one day and spotted a house. It was no ordinary house. No, no...it was the house that was soon to be Phirkel's House.

First, we must learn about the one named Phirkel. Phirkel is no ordinary gent. He lacks the sunkist face, the handsome broad shoulders most individuals have. No, Phirkel has a large beer gut, a set of yellowed and crooked teeth and lacks hair. He is a mere 23 years old, and his hair has already whithered away to nothing. He has small, beady eyes that look shiftily from left to right, snapping in the direction of the nearest noise. What is most noticable, to even the simplest of the simple, is Phirkel's mongoloid forehead. He looks like an unevolved chimpanzee. And because of that, very few people want to have anything to do with him. Phirkel has always wanted to go on a quest of beautification, but that is for another chapter.

Now, in this house there were 3 rooms (yes, only 3, because 4 is a square number, and we don't like squares). You would enter via the kitchen, living and dining area. This was a dark and dank room, covered with half-eaten food, smelling of rot and mildew. The windows have been boarded over many ages ago because the previous owner was too cheap to replace glass broken by some children who were throwing around rocks outside.

When Phirkel walks to the West, he enters the Bedroom. Now, this was no ordinary bedroom, this bedroom contrasted oddly with the kitchen, from whence he came. The Bedroom was painted a bright red colour. Though the paint was flaking in some places, it was in far better shape than the earlier room. The bed was a comfortable looking straw-pile, next to which was a table, where Phirkel could put the weapon he intended to get at a later point, before he went to sleep.

To the south of the house was the bathroom. To say the facilities were lacking would be an understatement. There was a sink (a demi-barel with a pipe coming from the roof, so rainwater would go into it) on stilts, and a giant hole in the floor. Peering into the hole, Phirkel saw some strange vortex churning in the bottom. Suffice to say, Phirkel would be finding an inn if he ever needed to go to the bathroom.

In his sussing out the bathroom, Phirkel noticed something odd underneath the sink. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a BUG!

Phirkel shreiked like a schoolgirl and started to run around in circles around the large pit containing the vortex. After his brief moment of idiocy, he turned around and scrutinized the bug.

"Hrmm, you don't look harmless," he said, panting still from his running around the vortex (he was really out of shape too). Phirkel picked up the bug and examined it. Sensing he had found his only friend ever, he put the bug in the pocket. "I'll name thee Lucy, Lucy the Bedbug!" Of course, he had no way of verifying the gender of the bug...so Phirkel just named the bug after a girl.

And so, in this chapter, Phirkel found his house, and his new friend, Lucy the Bedbug.

[Sliptooth]

There was a warm breeze blowing that day. As such Sliptooth was resting in a tree in the square. What better to do than bask in the sun, and enjoy the outdoors?

The time seemed to flow past at an unknown rate, until he heard a piercing shreak eminate from a nearby house. At this, Slip took notice. There must be a good reason for such a shreak, so with a quick jump and a short run he had come up to a nearby window.

Slip took a good long look at the window, and after a good 5 or 6 seconds he realized that it, in fact, wasn't a window, but a old cracked board placed over what should be a window. Pondering for a second, Slip remedied this by grabbing hold of the lowest board across the window and pulling with all his strength until it came free with an aggressive crack.

Climbing back up to the window Slip peered inside to see a large man squeeling and conversing with a rather delicious looking bug.

Slip dropped the board and walked round the front of the house. Checking carefully as he went for the closest, and therefore easiest, entrance. Finding the front door he twisted the doorknob till it clicked, pushed it and entered the main room. Noticing a bed off to the side, Slip jumped up on it and flopped himself down, waiting for the house's inhabitant to greet him.

[Gabriella]

Gabriella doddled back home through the maze of houses, purposely kicking up puffs of dust as she went along. It was finally spring, and in honour of the the occasion she adjusted her hat to what she considered a more "jaunty" and "springtime" angle. Nothing could destroy the moment. That is, until a girly shriek from the nearest home split the air in two.

Gabriella stopped in the middle of the road, the latest cloud of dust settling over her boots. Sifting through her tangled thoughts came one assumption - someone was being murdered.

Gabby sprinted down the road, hoping the whole neighbourhood would burst out of their front doors and come to the rescue. Her small frame would be no use in fighting off a murderer.

"Help! Help please!" cried Gabby.

[Xanta'Kun]

Xanta was on his way to the Aedile's office when he heard a girly shriek and a human woman calling for help. He decided that whatever it was he should try and help. The innocent needed protection, and though he was one of them he decided he should help.

He soon saw the source of the distress call, it was a human woman. Xanta immediately bolted off after her to try and help where it was needed. Eventually he left her behind and continued searching for the danger. He saw the house and didn't question which it was, the front door was ajar.

As Xanta entered the house, he saw a lizardman laying on a bed, and an elves in another room dancing in circles and sqealing like a schoolgirl. He automatically assumed the lizardman had done some evil to this poor innocent elf and drew his blackened katana, blade gleaming.

"What foul curse have you wrought upon this... er... young(?) elf," Xanta queried. Upon further inspection of the elf, Xanta saw he was grossly out of shape and ungroomed. 'Well,' he thought, 'He's still a helpless citizen....'

[Sliptooth]

At the mere slide of the blade against it's sheath Slip took notice. The glint of the cold metal, he dove behind the fat elf, hoping that maybe, just maybe he was friendlier than he looked. But either way, the fat one was much better than the sharp one.

[phirkel]

Phirkel, not liking all this fighting, asks everyone to calm down, and invites Sliptooth to return to the comfort of the bed.

"It's only a bug. And it is my new friend, Lucy. Here, how about we all sit down for some crumpets and tea! And please, no sharp objects in here. We're all friends!"

Phirkel walked over to the kitchen, leaving everyone to resolve their differences, hopefully peacefully, in the bedroom, and started tossing things around, looking for crumpets...and tea. Upon finding some relatively unmouldy crumpets and all the stuff required to make tea, he prepares a feast., and invites everyone to sit down and talk about their differences.

[Xanta'Kun]

OOC: this is great. more idiots should play alleria.

IC: As the lizard-being rolled behind the unkempt elf, Xanta's first thought was to save the poor fatling, but the lizardman instead cowered behind the elf. Xanta hadn't been expecting that.

"What's going on here?" he demanded. He decided that he had better find out what the deal was before he started chopping off heads. "Crumpets and tea!?!?!?" he exclaimed. "I thought someone was being murdered in here!" Xanta's head was swimming, so he just sheathed his katana in its black scabbard and took a seat on the bed. "I'll have mine dark.." he mumbled, relenting to the senselessness of it all.

[Sliptooth]

OOC- If you don't like the players, you don't have to participate in this thread

IC- With a small snicker, Slip walked back over to the bed and flopped down. He grinned slyly at the elf and curled up. "Ssso..." he trailed off, distracted by the shining light in the sword.

For a breif moment, Slip's mind became more clear than it ever had. Why do I get distracted so easily? and What is the meaning of my existence?, but as soon as they appeared, again they disappeared. Lost in the dancing sunlight coming in the window.

[Xanta'Kun]

OOC: no, i like it. people get too into it sometimes. i could not have joined the thread in the first place. i knew it was gonna be stupid.

IC:"So, lizardman, you're not killing anyone? What's your name?" he asked, trying to make some sense of all this mess. "I'm Xanta, everyone," he announced, still in a bit of a stupor.

[phirkel]

"I'm Phirkel, new in these parts. And this is Lucy!" Phirkel motions to the bug who was residing on his shoulder, chomping away happily on a mouldy piece of a crumpet. "So, anybody up for some crumpets? It's all I could find in that mess in my kitchen."

Phirkel motions the plate with crumpets in the direction of the Lizardman who seemed to be the friendliest Lizard he had ever met. "Lizardman, I have yet to hear your name from your own mouth! I'm Phirkel, by the way!" Phirkel beamed happily, blissfully unaware of his surroundings, and the tension that seemed to be building in the room. Phirkel was a simple Elf, after all.

[Sliptooth]

Seeing the crumpets Slip grabbed three immediately and commenced devouring them. When presented with food nobody in their right mind would refuse it. Especially something as tasty as crumpets.

Slip, after eating one, stored the other two in his satchel. "My name is Sssliptooth," he said, glancing out the window, or at least the hole he made when he ripped the board off. That person looks familiar... Turning back, "Yesss, Sssliptooth, people call me Ssslip though."

[Xanta'Kun]

Xanta had given up on any resemblance of order, so he just took a moldy crumpet and started eating the not-so-moldy bits. "A pleasure to meet you Phirkel," said Xanta, though he didn't extend his hand to shake the elf's as he didn't know what might be presently coating his digits.

[phirkel]

"Gentlemen, very nice to meet both of you!" Phirkel beamed, wiped his hand off on his shirt, and offered it to Xanta, in a gesture of friendship. "Please, enjoy the crumpets -- they are the best I can do on such short notice! I wasn't expecting guests!"

Pausing with a smile on his mongoloid face, Phirkel turned and looked at the kitchen area, then turned back to his guests. "You gentlemen are more than welcome to stay here, but I need to fix up the Kitchen/Living area, because you never know when you'll have more guests!"

[Xanta'Kun]

"I would love to stay, but I'm currently rooming with a friend of mine," said Xanta. He pretended like he didn't notice the hand being offered to him, despite the fact that it was a bit cleaner. "Nice place you've got here, if you just clean it up a bit," he commented. He nibbled a bit more at the crumpet.

[Sliptooth]

Realizing there was a conversation still going on in the room Slip turned back from the window. "Not gonna ssstay here, are you? I will!"

Slip glanced out the window again at the short female form running towards the fat elf's cabin. There was nearly an audible click...

"GABBY!" Slip bolted out of the house and ran up to her. "How have you been!"