Play by Post - View Single Post - A History of the Kemites: The Orodite Perspective (final draft)

Tarot · November 25, 2007, 03:40 AM

Hi Gye'ron,

this writeup has been thoroughly evaluated, and while I think it has merit and should eventually be included in the Compendium, it needs some further work on the following points and a new draft.

As this is the only actual writeup on Kemite history and is narrated from a minority point of view which is obviously biased, an introduction is needed to explain this to the reader. Of course, my suggestion is to actually develop a second writeup with the official Aslanite perspective!
Some parts are physically difficult to read; particularly long paragraphs should be split and I would encourage you to divide the writeup into sections.
On the Fae controversy, while it is recognized that there are more aggressive sub-races of Fae, the Creative Team and myself feel that the explanation as it was given is a weak one. If anything, teaching the Kemites magic would make more sense from a Fae perspective... So, the explanation needs to be changed or you need to include a full and convincing recount in your writeup. To me the only Fae subrace that would have been likely to teach the ways of weaponry and warfare is the Sprites, though their homeland is very far from the lands of the Kemites and they are generally not loved by the rest of the Fae races.

November 25, 2007, 03:40 AM	#10 (permalink)
Tarot The Banana CD Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Chelseanna; Creative Team Posts: 4,249	Hi Gye'ron, this writeup has been thoroughly evaluated, and while I think it has merit and should eventually be included in the Compendium, it needs some further work on the following points and a new draft. As this is the only actual writeup on Kemite history and is narrated from a minority point of view which is obviously biased, an introduction is needed to explain this to the reader. Of course, my suggestion is to actually develop a second writeup with the official Aslanite perspective! Some parts are physically difficult to read; particularly long paragraphs should be split and I would encourage you to divide the writeup into sections. On the Fae controversy, while it is recognized that there are more aggressive sub-races of Fae, the Creative Team and myself feel that the explanation as it was given is a weak one. If anything, teaching the Kemites magic would make more sense from a Fae perspective... So, the explanation needs to be changed or you need to include a full and convincing recount in your writeup. To me the only Fae subrace that would have been likely to teach the ways of weaponry and warfare is the Sprites, though their homeland is very far from the lands of the Kemites and they are generally not loved by the rest of the Fae races. __________________ Trekking Around Right Over The: Compendium - Worldforge - Wiki - Chelseanna - CD Office